Like Me
by Akkibai
Summary: "Ah, that's nice to hear.  You wouldn't, uh, like being like me."  Gamzee's portrait-permanent smile faltered. 'Like me' He didn't like the sound of it.    A GamTav fic that will include a bit of Vriska / Tavros :B
1. Then He Was There

_Author's Notes:_

_Oi! If you're reading this, then bless you, you lucky Irignafs! Still, be-warned ye! I may not have the capability of providing completely canon-fired or accurate details c: Deal with it. But deal with it politely pl0x! Also: Simply because it is a PB & J fic, does not mean that it can harbor a PG and Gay status :P So before I start pillaging this village, smut may happen! So may fluff! FLUFF MOST DEFINITELY WILL! Besides that, I'm going to give a heads-up that while I am trying, Updates, If any one comes to give two hoots, might turn sporadic, and I'll add this is mostly practice for my trying to improve plot development, word flow, vocabulary poppycock, and what have you. THANK YOU, REVIEWS ARE MiRaClEs! : 3_

_~ AlesonWonderland_

* * *

><p><strong>- terminally Capricious [TC] began trolling adios Toreador [AT] -<strong>

TC: HeEeEey TaVbRo! WhAt'S a QuAlItY MoThErFuCkEr lIke yOu dOiNg aLl uP aT tHiS tImE?

AT: ,, OH! hEY gAMZEE IT'S UH,, nOT THAT EARLY, i MEAN i THINK, nOT FOR ME }:]

TC: yEaAaH, I gEt YoU BrOTheR, eArLy gRuB gEtS tHe FaYgO! HoNk

AT: yUM,, i CAN'T RECALL THE LAST TIME,, i HAD SOME OF THAT, uH, EARLY GRUB!

TC: AwWwH NoOo! YoU AlL Up AnD nEeD sOmE Of ThIs sHiT bAnGiNg ElIxEr.

AT: oH WE COULD'VE , uM , sPLIT A FIZZY BATCH OF THAT, sICK ELIXER,, i

DON'T KNOW HOW THOUGH, RP?

TC: NaH, TaV, NaH. I'm AlL Up AnD rEaDy FreSh FrOm mY 'cOon jUsT To SpLiT ThIs SiCkEnEd FiZZ WiTh YoU! :0)

AD: }:0( ?

TC: WoAh! ChIlL bUlL BrOtHer! No nEeD To sTaRt jAcKiNG nOsEs TaV! }:0)

AD: wELL ,, uH , wHAT DID YOU MEAN?

TC: GeT YoUR sEe On To ThE WiNDoW BrOtHeR…

**- adiosToreador [AD] ceased trolling terminallyCapricous [TC] -**

As implied, the troll squirmling commenced 'GeTtIng hIs sEe On.' The eager to share faygo felon did not, however, specify _which _window to direct his see to.

Then he was there.

Any troll in their right cranium casket would identify the sloppy mop top excuse of hair with Gamzee Makara, indigo-blood bard of faygo.

"Gamzee!"

"He-he-heeey Tav!"

Within a couple wheel-chair equivalent steps of approaching Gamzee, soliciting sweet space on Tav's very own stairwell, (the ones he never used) Tavro's smile quickly dwindled to nothing less than a surly, defeated, crescent.

Then he was there.

On another four-wheeled device.


	2. In The Painted Flesh

**Chapter 2**

"Tav, this is getting motherfucking daft, Tav…"

There is what resembles a whimper from the other end of the line.

"Nah Tav, you motherfucking ain't even believing at what's coming out your mouth… I motherfucking just _know_ you to not be feeling that way about me!"

The aforementioned end of the line emitted another whimper.

"Oh man, I didn't mean to… mother of fuck. Chill, Tav! You got my guilt all rising now, just hear me the fuck out, kay tav? Thanks"

He drawled out the gratuitous notion, with no intent whatsoever of implying the alien practice of 'sarcasm.' With a clearing of the throat, the conversation resumed.

"There isn't a more motherfucking falser choice than what you've all got going the fuck here. My word, Tav, as two trolls tighter bound than the mirthful messiahs, we'll have a good time. The best motherfucking time, hehe."

A softer spoken tone elicited a response from the other end of the Cell Grub.

"Haha, Honk is right Tav! Honk!"

The whimpers now merging into bashful laughs, it seemed Gamzee could hang up the conversation like he would have to with his keys the following morning. Who would've thought, the actual key to spending more time with a motherfucker was to feel just like him.

Gamzee rolled his new four-wheeled confines to the 'coon.

* * *

><p>Only earlier that Alternian day, a meager batch of hours, was he sure, subtly sure, of the fact that he would not be returning to his own rest center for a very long time, if not more. In fact, it was earlier that Alternian day that he realized everything did not go just as planned. Everything made the other <em>sad<em>.

* * *

><p><strong>Earlier that Alternian day.<strong>

Once Tavros had gotten his accustomed 'see on' to the window, nothing less than a gracious death trap of black, white, and grey dawdled at his doorstep. Actually, not at his doorstep. The barren, and rarely used porch steps is where Gamzee had sat to rest. Purely entertaining this theory, Tavros wheeled outside with the best of intentions. A hug and fit of laughter would skim by as sufficient, of only hardly. After all, if it was really Gamzee, when was the last time Tavros had seen him in the painted flesh.

Eventually this string of events folded together in Tav's over-enthusiastic, naïve, mind quickly diminished.

There could be no hugging, no seize of laughter. In the most physical terms, there could not be. Gamzee in the flesh had dropped himself into a four-wheeled device, much like Tav's. There wasn't an instant, palpable reaction though.

The thoughts drained too quickly to be refilled with anything worthwhile. Smidgets of trollian emotion shared the void instead, while voicable thoughts took their leisure in returning.

"Wh-what are yo- What happened, Gamzee?"

His own, cracky, pre-pubescent sounding voice was an accustomed norm. The shock, however granted him no miracles.

"Hehe, good to see ya too Tavros."

Tavro's mouth hung off by a measley bolt, atleast, that's what he felt like. His usual stutter was amiss aswell, only because he could project no words in general while he gaped like a fish for appropriate ones to say.

"Man, It is motherfuckfresh out here! The sea spray's all got the miracles and all, but this chill is harshing my mood, even by my standards. Let us direct our motherfuckin' see inside, kay Tav?"

There was no gap between responses, as the newly wheel-bound troll found room besides Tav's ramp to scootch up to the door. All that Tavros could process was following this gracious action into the hive.

Later, Tav would wonder how he could've let the other pass right through him so easily.

"Alright Tavbro, It's like miracles or some shit cuz I know just what's bubbling under your little conductor's cap. Let me just motherfucking get to the explain so you can all get a better motherfucking hold on this situation."

Tavbro unconsciously participated and silently surveyed the speaker expectantly waiting to 'all get a better motherfucking hold.'

"Don't motherfucking flip an acrobatic shit trick off the handle you got it, Tav?" The forward, unrelated, comment placed with Gamzee's insidious smile made all the difference in how Tavros would react. He felt the coercian called laughter escape past his teeth. There was little else he could do while still riding the aftershock of seeing Gamzee put in such a state.

"I've got myself in this bitchin' device cuz I up all put my feet to the motherfucking handle and, well uh, the handle put 'em to the motherfucking floor. Honk."

A lopsided smile coronated Gamzee's features all the whilst he explained his mishap. It seemed to Tavros he didn't mind a single bit.

**Did not give a single motherfuck. :0)**

Tav drove himself to regain some senses and wheeled along to the back of Gamzee's own four-wheel device.

He gingerly ran a grey thumb across a very familiar insignia.

"I got my sure on as to getting this particularly wicked model"

It was Tavro's own. Even though he, as a privileged and prized high blood, could afford much much more.

"Too bad of what that docdroid had to motherfucking advise me on"

Tavros was never a very negative youngling, lacking in self-esteem was another outlook, but as for all he had hope for in the world around him, he had never had doubt. Even in being so vaguely informed of the conditions, Tavros knew Gamzee was just like him now.

The fill-in emotions were clashing now, in the ugliest of mixtures.

_'I-I have a wheel buddy now?'_

_'Oh Gog, what's gonna happen to you, Gamzee!'_

_'please-Please, don't let you be poking fun at me…'_


	3. Just Like Me

**Chapter 3**

The original wheelchair jockey cleared his throat dryly.

"Uh.. So, this is maybe, terminal?"

Tavros for once, had reason to keep his words strung out with unabridged little stutters. It wasn't that he did so often around Gamzee, and it wasn't that he did so often otherwise for lack of strength or any silly fantasy idea that so clique-ly makes up a strong troll.

Even still, at the moment, he couldn't catch any scent of consolation… or conviction in his own voice.

"Woah, my highway-horned invertebrother! That's not the haps here. I've got a couple perigee to maneuver the motherfuck out from this thing, hehe"

Tav's hands were clasped over his lap by now, a small crease furrowing at his brow. By the time TerminallyCapricous finished explaining how he was _not _terminally tethered to his wheels and managed a chuckle, Tavros found a little smile pressing against his own nervous lips.

It was strange.

"Ah, that's nice to hear. You wouldn't ,uh, like being like me."

Gamzee's portrait-permanent smile faltered a bit… 'like me?'. He didn't like the sound of it.

"Heeey Tav-woes, don't be all using that motherfucking tone of voice at yourself! You're fine all how you are, shit, I'd most probably be motherfucking overly-fine if this was all a permanent thing to be."

Tavros couldn't feel the slips of color spreading from the flecks on his nose, but Gamzee wasn't as quick to dismiss the little detail.

"Haha, well I still don't think it is a thing that you , um, would like, but also haha"

Tavro's lips were littered with giggles and sputters, more so the sputters. In thought, it felt as if a rusted orange nail was pounding bomb-shelters in his bone marrow.

"_Oh gog, why is it Gamzee made it to my hive without me, um, not knowing?"_

Gamzee nodded lithely, one of his trademark giggle-toothed grins hanging loosely to his face, it was almost as if Gamzee could read his- "Oh Gog! I, uh, said that out loud maybe, didn't I? I didn't mean it in any offensive sort of way." Gamzee just chuckled and kept nodding in his newfound transportation device, the sound muffled by his lazy habit of doing so with lips sealed. His teeth _were _authoratively sharp, but none the matter as Tavros would later figure he enjoyed his faygo-stained smile a lot better. Which now! Upon revision, reminded the butter-blood of his promised carbonated drinks.

"It's all chill, my brother, I just figured this fucking mellow would be damaged goods if I up and motherfucking handled it insincerely" Gamz fiddled with his wheels in reference to the situation meant to be handled gingerly. A borderline overly-conscious look on his face. No.

"It's o-okay-" Tavros found himself making amends to whatever it was in reference Gamzee was talking about, not that Tav knew, but he was sure anything to do with Gamzee's would be plainly not bad.

",I mean, probably, Tinkerbull's not been home lately. I guess he wouldn't mind you here a while, though. Hehe"

That is when Gamzee decided to do one of his best mates a favor and smile.

Not a copacetic, toothsome little grin here or there. The full-on trademark faygo smile.

The smile-receiving troll barely had time to flinch before Gamz was flying up to clash deviced softly and even then some, covering more space by his pushing his self up slightly above the seat with his arms on Tavro's lap to stare him in the face.

"There's where I gotta motherfucking ask a certain Tavros Bro for a motherfucking miracle. Heh."

There was, all at once, all the seriousness an indigo-blood should have, crocheted behind his eyes. It was a bit daunting to _take_ Gamzee Makara seriously though.

" On account of me hurtin' and all this mother fucked up bats hit,"

Especially not with his grandeur, main attraction of a smile.

"I want to ask you all-"

Tavros twiddled his thumbs nervously. Timid fear rung out his confidence to dry, wondering what he could possibly do to help someone like Gamzee. Rufio took the floor however and kept him under con-troll.

"To Keep Me!"

The smaller troll's coded reaction was to withdraw, unfortunately, anatomy coded him to have his ridiculously long horns rattle the chair-heading behind him aswell.

"Here, that is-"

Gamzee rolled back as a courtesy, but not before helping the other back up."Woah-oah! Watch it, heavy-horns!"

He couldn't intercept the hand already coming in at an all too-wrong angle to help.

"Ah, th-thanks, I guess. I just- you scared me. Haha" Tavros mumbled, turning an eye to the fact that all he did was knock him crook-ways some more.

The trollian equivalent of unfledged butterflies, perhaps pupa, bred like wildfire in his head and nutrition sacks.

"Um ! Why is it here that, um, you would want to kick it?"

Gamzee's eyes flickered something curious. Mischievous?

"Well then Tav, I see we're coming all up to motherfucking business. Since I up and went rolling punches with the handle and got this motherfucker to show for it, I'ma be needing some renovations on the main hive. Brother, them fixer-upper bots can't hope to be doing their jobs at all even right. But I was hoping to put my motherfucking counts towards you, Tav, soes to help a brother out?"

He melted into a paper-thin trace of whatever he could cultivate into a plea at the moment. After mulling it over Tavros felt a bit…

_Conflicted_, at best.

Let us take a peek into his thought procession, just to sample the aforementioned conflict.

'_Does Gamzee actually need me, uh, my help, I mean?'_

'_I'm uh, not exactly sure Tinkerbull would approve, maybe?'_

'…_He's only tethered to… his trolley for a ,uh, few perigee. He's not, like I thought, not like me.'_


	4. Make Solids, Not Situations

**Chapter 4**

Gamzee started talking closer to _business _than what he had before.

"I'd only crash at your bachelor pad for a couple perigee anymotherfucking ways. I mean, I'm up to cover alls the expenses for me too. You think you can do me this motherfucking important solid, Tav?"

The only thing Tav felt solid about the situation, was the flagrant lump in his throat.

"I-uh… I'm not sure I should make this decision on my own. I mean, um, I should probably go ask Tinkerbull first. To see what he thinks"

Tavros Nitram was well familiarized with the infamous contraband-consumption and asides from that, Gamzee's almost certainly unannounced brevities of madness.

Ofcourse, Tavros did not judge or think less of his friend based soley off this fact.

Not off this thought alone.

"Hmm, yeah I can motherfucking some good looking out for a bro's lusus. Which reminds me-"

Tav crossed his horns, or would have if he could and it wasn't an absurdly jive idea that in no way granted him any luck, ( Even if he did believe in that particular jive) and hoped the mention of Gamzee's own forlorned Lusus could be evaded.

"-I probably should've gave goat-dad the heads up on all this motherfucking biznasty before I even got the gumption to ask you something like that." Sequently, the newly wheel-stuck troll's composure bleaked. It was as if the magnitude of his actions had barely now traveled upon a delayed reaction.

He dropped distantly a little lower in his chair, perhaps in realization, not so much shame, as much as realization, of what exactly he was lobbying against poor little Tavros.

"o-Oh! I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Naw, Chill Brother, It's all good. I haven't even gotten the message out to my palebro either, hehe, he'll sure as hell be motherfucking pissed." At the mention of said Palebro, Gamzee chuckled narrowly, as if imagining his bitter scoldings already. Tavros accompanied his chuckle with a nervous twich of the lips that could be categorized as a weak smile.

"We umm, maybe you should've told him first, probably? "

"Pfft, nah. Wouldn't wanna kill the chill. Motherfucker would only get himself revved al up. But don't worry that wicked little head of your's on that, Tav."

The taller troll's demeanor suddenly perked up, raising his face, the wheels were once again spiraling towards the door of the entrance block.

Tavros followed but only to the threshold once Gamzee crossed it, for he was back before Tav could utter an 'um' with a pair of his 'asskick elixirs'.

Tavros wasn't too entranced by the refreshments however, his eyes were wearily fixed on the pair of leather-lined enclosement devices, or if you wanted to get fancy: 'The Suitcases.'

"Gamzee, if I can ask, uh, wh-what are those?"

Gamzee followed his line of sight and instantly looked a bit lost. His brow furrowed and he quickly made his way back towards the doorframe where Tav lingered., still trying to politely decipher the unexpected luggage, which lay strewn haphazardly across the lawn. The azure windmill and jousting targets fluttered in his peripheral vision.

"Aaah these motherfuckers!" he spoke as if he could barely recognize it. "All that bitchin' swag I brought for you brother!" as if on cue, the ditzy troll had dropped the duo refreshments unto Tav's lap in exchange for piquantly racing to the other bags. Once returning, the seal of the bag was breached and out poured a miraculous sea of faygo. In bottles of course, not free flowing. That would be _**silly.**_

_**:0)**_

Tavros only stared in awestruck.

"Wh-wh… thank you Gamzee! But-" He felt like 12th' perigee's eve. Especially holding true to the fact that this was all he was ever given on that day, besides Tinkerbull's present, since he never had anyone to really recieve gifts from.

"No motherfucking need bull-headed brother, it's a little miracle form me to just you. Besides, hehe… I gotta all give up the ruse. Not all of this was really all your motherfucking miracles. Sorry Tav, I just kinda thought… I better get my junk over to your hive anyways. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten up the bone bulge to all motherfucking pull that shit."

Indeed, the bull-headed troll was starting to question the other's flippant audacity.

'_Is he already, um, wanting to maybe move in?'_

Gamzee seemed to read Tavro's thoughts straight from his worry-riddles think pan with his comment of :"I don't even Motherfucking know"

Followed up by his trademark eyes that strangely wander to different sides of his head.

Tavros slipped a giggle, sort of losing his nervous edge to Gamzee's foreign, outgoing, attributes. Foreign to him, atleast. Without authorities consent, (well they _were_ 'his'now afterall) he reached for a particularly purple faygo and pulled back the metal tab with a satisfying "TSSSS" as a welcoming committee. Tavros made haste in drinking in, as he first eyed it a bit suspiciously. He hadn't ever really drunk too much of this junk. Frankly, with the way he always found Gamzee, he wasn't sure if it could be too good for him. Tavros looked up from under his lofty horns expectantly. Gamzee was already busying himself, all caught up with a particularly Orange Faygo. It looked delicious.

Tavros risked a sip.

"It's… Syrupy! And maybe, _sweet_?"

Tavbro seemed non-too-convinced, but for a very excusable reason. He couldn't quite be sure of how this thing tasted. It was mighty fine though. Upon retrospect however, Tav wondered how much his sopor-singed taste buds could taste.

"Just as much as you all can my Tavbro, Sopor don't hit you that way." and for the second consecutive time that day, Gamzee had read Tav's thoughts… only because he'd made them public. Tavros had been developing this nasty habit of murmuring, probably from his nasty habit of not getting enough of the good dreams. As opposed to the only-natural nightmares of war and false chivalry that would wage against the brain at night.

For the second time this alternian day (which was ironically, during the night for trolls) Gamzee's face lit up.

"Let's go play some motherfucking Fiduspawn, brother!"

* * *

><p>On only the first count of that quickly diminishing Alternian day, Tavros had a mirthful glow to his visage. The two bear-battled up along the one-lane ramp (meant for one, of course), leaving the faygos forgotten, strewn about the grassy strip of land, of which was insidiously accumulating a bit of frost. It was the brumal perigees, after all.<p>

"FIDUSPAWN, I MOTHERFUCKING CHOOSE YOU!" Gamzee never quite understood the directions, he only ever played with the tools of the trade. Fruity marbles, other-dimensioned cards, shiny coins etc. (Terezi had taken it up on herself to etch on of her mighty morphin' judgment designs on some)

So while the indigo-blood obliviously corrupted the name and pride of FIDUSPAWN, by pushing their two spawns together, causing them to commence a mighty vicious cuddle war, Tavros worried and wiggled in his chair. Long ago after the first batch of spawns were lost had he left the blissful blockhead to his own doings. Of course Tavros could never think of using the word _'blockhead' _to describe his best mate.

Discreetly, Tavros had been trolling Vriska ever since the two ravaged his own respite block with forlorn spawn.

* * *

><p>- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] -<p>

AT: hEY , uM vRISKA, I SEEM TO BE HAVING A BIT OF A DILEMMA.

AG: When are you not, my little pupa-problematic? Poor Pupa, why can't you own up and make a decision like a pan ought to.

AG: Just kidding! What do you need, puddin-pan?

AT: uM, oKAY, wELL, tHERE'S gAMZEE,, aND UH, hE REALLY NEEDS MY HELP RIGHT NOW. wELL UH, iT SEEMS THAT WAY ANYWAYS, mAYBE?

AG: Spaaaaaaaare me the theatrics, I have enough of that to chuck an 8-ball at.

AT: uH, rIGHT. wELL TO CUT TO THE CHASE, iT'S JUST THAT HE REALLY IS ONLY ASKING FOR ONE THING.

AT: gAMZEE WANTS TO MOVE IN, wITH ME. tHAT IS.

AG: . . . . . . . .

AG: Hahahahahahahaha!

AT: tHIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, i, uH, mEAN TO SAY, tHAT IT'S NO JOKE, vRISKA

AG: Yes, I got the jest of that, far too much jest actually, you can take some back. So let me ruler this straight? You're asking for my permission to let Gamzee pucker up at your hive, right?

AT: wELL , uH, nOT pERMISSION, tHAT IS NOT THE WORD I WOULD, uH, uSE

AT: bUT YEAH, hE IS IN A FOUR WHEEL DEVICE,,,,, lIKE ME, aND i DON'T , uH, tHINK HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE IT ABOUT AND ALL THAT, wITHOUT MY HELP, tHAT IS.

AT: Helpless posy-pan just can't _live_ without the hearsay of his superiors, hm? I'd say it was about time for him to take to skies on his own!

AT: i, uH, tAKE THAT AS A YES? i SHOULD LET HIM STAY, tHEN?

AG: Well if you'd only let me and my glorious mind in on what you're thinking, or

AG: I know!

AG: I'll just peek inside your little subjuggloser friend's mind, take a looksy at what his true intentions are. hehehehehehehehe ::::)

AT: n, nO! pLEASE DON'T DO THAT VRISKA. i'D , uH, bE PRETTY MAD IF SOMETHING ,,uH,, hAPPENED. wAIT, 'hAPPENED'. }:I

AG: Oh, Fiiiiiiiine. If you want to extend this little compromise to your guest as a housewarming gift, it is far beneath me to put any sort of stop on you.

AT: tHAT'S , uH, fINE, tHANK YOU. I THOUGHT THE DEAL WAS A HOUSE-AREA THING, uH, ANYWAYS. iT DOESN'T MATTER. tHANK YOU }:) i, uH, gUESS HE CAN STAY THEN?

AG: Hmmmmmmmm, when will puny little pupa man up enough to let someone in on his own? Only time will tell. And with the aid of his magnificent matesprite, anything is possible!

AT: y, YES, pUPA PAN, eRR, wELL, tHE WOULD-BE PUPA, iS SURE THANKFULL OF HIS, uM, mOST MAGICAL FORTUNE, iN , uH, STUMBLING THEORETICALLY UPON THIS, uH, mATESPRIT. hEHE.

AG: This is where my bullshit-o-meter hits the fan, I have too many irons in the fiiiiiiiire at the moment, Tavros.

AG: Bye! Have fun! ;;;;)

AT: uH, bYE! }:)

- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] -


	5. Honk Is Right

**Chapter 5**

"Gamzee, Uh, I went ahead and scouted some , er, advice from Tink and my Matesprite. I think... Well...I think..." Tavros met a glip in his articulation, as he stopped to wonder._What... does it matter what I think? I, um, already couldn't decide this for my , er, self. _"Yeah , I'm all ears, bull-brosaur, what do you got in your motherfucking think pan?"

Tavros backtracked on his thoughts, heaving himself out from the rut he had just dug in his confidence, again."I, um, well I think it'd be best to let you, uh..."Gamzee donned a look of Cimmerian concern as he tried to decipher his stutters and halts. It usually didn't happen around Gamzee to such a degree and the thought that Tavros was doing so now sort of wore on his thick, moony thinkpan.

"...it'd be best if you left..."

* * *

><p>Gamzee's expression of concern turned sour. It was true, yes, that Gamzee had bots working on the hive even as they spoke now, but it wasn't so much the technical 'moving about' that Gamzee fretted over.<p>

"I- Tav, I can put respect to your motherfucking decision but... I was just so set to..."The jester sat more befuddled than anything amongst a blanket of sleeping fiduspawn, trying to put a period to that sentence.

"I-I'm sorry Gamzee, I'm just not so, erm, convinced that you being here would be the ... better decision." It was then that the room decided to add a cynical kick to Tav's words, as it densed down to an awkward silence, only broken by the occasional spawn-critter in the corner. Gamzee however, had long since been staring, blinking slackly at his broad-horned friend, deciding what to make of his conundrum.

"Th-that's just fine Tav, I dig. I wouldn't wanna all put you to something you weren't in your comfort zone with." Gamzee questioned the legitimacy of his own statement, however Tavros took it as hearty enough.

"Y-yes. Thank you for understanding that this is my , em, decision Gamzee."

* * *

><p>The rest of what would initially be thought of as an all around delightful day, turned out to be something more shithive maggots than one would like. 'One' in this sentence, meaning Gamzee.<p>

Now late in the night, the mop-top headed troll stood slightly heavy hearted at Tav's doorframe his back to the wind and bags in hand. "Thanks for having me the motherfuck over Tav."

"Even if you, uh, didn't even ask? hehe."

Gamzee nodded sagely, smiling all the while making it hard for the other to keep his own smiles surpressed.

"N-no, don't worry it is not a thing that, you would need to do , well, um, more likely that I would want you to ...do."

The explanation came clean across in the pair's idioglassia as 'You don't need to ask, silly, I love having you over, hehe'

As the two bid a few more minute's worth of farewells, the sun was covertly sneaking around the night. Gamzee soon gathered up his things once more, and was off, back to his hive.

* * *

><p>"<strong>NICE JOB FUCKASS, WHY DON'T YOU GO SUCK A FLYING FUCK WHILE YOU'R AT IT, GAMZEE, REALLY."<strong>

"Haha Sometimes you say some gumptious, mad-funny shit sometimes Karkat, haha."

Gamzee's acumen always seemed to be more settled and fine-fitted to Karkat's angry...everything. At the moment, the moirail stood fuming over the fact that a.) not only had his best mate gone and gotten himself a bloody affliction. {Figuratively, not really, as the bleeding had long since subsided} but b.) He could not re-situate himself to a hive that tailored his temporary needs. All of this really wouldn't have pissed of Karkat as much, if it weren't for the fact that he was the one now who needed to carry the recumbant sack of miracles to his own respite block. It was a miracle within itself that the smaller troll could maneuver the weight of the lax clown to his room, he did however for once, find use and thank the gogs that Gamzee had designed his hive with a door straight from the outdoors to his own room. Still, four wheeled devices and sand just didn't mix well.

**"**Ugh, Really, you incompetent asshole? I mean, don't pin me as evil knievel here, I know it's not all your damn doing but **JEEGUS SMITE**! **TAKE A LITTLE FUCKING PEEP AT WHERE YOUR GOING ONCE IN A DICKIN' WHILE. **"

Most of Kar's anger was misdirected at Gamzee's general action of tripping off his one-wheeled miracle wagon, causing his injury to start with, instead of what he was doing now, which was trying to prop the limp sack of troll up on his infamous horn pile.

HONK. honk.

Gamzee spread his limbs noodle-style letting loose a little sigh."Haa... maybe you can lodge some motherfuckin' wits right to my brain, Palebro. What all do you recommend I do about... you know, Tavbro."

"Oh shit yeah, that's right. You're still incompetent and now temporarily incapacitate. Not only that, but you can't move a gogfreaking muscle without me to nanny you around. Ugh, I'm not moving into this dump, no how. You're just going to have to find an alternative, Gamzee."

"So... like. Try harder is all what I'm hearing?"

"No, clubnuts, it means... wait, no that was something coherently plausible that just fell out of your mouth! Haha, I must be working one of your honktraband 'miracles'."

"Yeah, it's about all motherfuckin' time you started at the general believin' in all this tight religion."

"Bolt your jaw a second, will you? I'm thinking a good, and maybe, if you wanted to actually put forth some fuckin' effort, a _gentlemanly _call would give your boyfriend a half-assed reassuring wake up call."" Nah, brother, you've got your facts all illegalized. He ain't my boyfriend. But yeah, I think I will all be sure as to giving him a call on some time soon."

Karkat crossed his limbs all at once, sitting indian-style besides his friend, {but not as far as to ensure the wrath of those lousy shit jive horns} and crossing his arms, raising an insidious brow in irate skepticism.

"Oh please, I'm not giving you another ounce of advise, if you need to, just fuckin' ponder this shit over, ponder it all you want. Go make an ass of yourself as you waddle in all your due diligent pondering. Oh seriously, just go pick up your cell grub."

Karkat interrupted his overly _important _monologue so as to oversee his moirail's need to grab his cell and give Tavros a ringer.

Gamzee did just that. After locking into the number, it rang a few times.

The troll prepared his hear ducts for the well-memorized message of absence personalized strictly to Tavros' cell.

"h-HELLO! i AM NOT CURRENTLY, eR, NEAR MY PHONE, oR, uH, aNYWHERE AROUND IT FOR THAT REASONING, hAHA. sO PLEASE LEAVE A , uM, mESSAGE AT THE WICKED RING." a little jingle associated with pupa pan's wings would play. Gamzee always chuckled a bit at how the message sounded like a spittin' image of his quirk.

That didn't happen however, as Tavros soon answered. "h-hi Gamzee, did you leave something?" his voice quivered, and sounded smaller over the phone, as if there was a permanent tunnel stationed between him and Gamzee.

"Nah, I'm hanging a ring on account of a more sick-serious business. Hehe"

Gamzee felt out of his element using the word 'business' with a troll so close. "Is this on the, um, subject of your housings?"

"Well yeah, sorta. That was some nerve I rolled to try and pressure you to all letting me stay , it doesn't completely strike me as motherfuckin' moral-like."

"n-no! It really wasn't, now that I can , uh, get thinking about it more. I don't hold grudges, or anything silly like that but , it's not exactly a good thing to, uh, use 'gumption' as a persuasive element. ahem."

The phone seemed to convey terseness.

"Oh shit, Tav, You're not... _mad_ are you? Mother of fuck I - I didn't mean to all..."

"N-no! I never said I was mad or really anything close to that. I, i mean I could be, I don't know. I would have appreciated a heads up or atleast an advanced warning but... aargh"

Tavros irked a noise of annoyance as Rufio began yelling at Tavros to get angry, be affirmative, or do ... _something._

"Tav, this is getting motherfucking daft, Tav…"

" I-i know, I can't really explain what I, um, feel about the subject as a whole. Gah, the topic is sort of fuzzy...black."

""Nah Tav, you motherfucking ain't even believing at what's coming out your mouth… I motherfucking just know you to not be feeling that way about me!"

"W-wh-what! Oh! Um, n-no! I didn't mean black as in, uh, blackrom, or really anything of that sort. I-i mean, do you- it's okay if you do... I just, do you feel that way... about... _me _now?"

"Oh man, no! I didn't mean to… mother of fuck. Chill, Tav! You got my guilt all rising now, just hear me the fuck out, kay tav? Thanks "

The misunderstanding was soon there-after cleared up as Gamzee took time to recollect himself.

"There isn't a more motherfucking falser choice than what you've all got going the fuck here. My word, Tav, as two trolls tighter bound than the mirthful messiahs, we'll have a good time. The best motherfucking time, hehe."

"If you... uh, are referring to your housings again... I _did _give the notion a wicked once-over and um... I think. If you behave yourself, haha, you can... stay. This is the trade-off okay Gamzee? Um, Honk!"

"Haha, Honk is right Tav! Honk!"

The daring phone-dial duo laughed candidly upon the realization that the both would soon lead the next perigee with each other. Gamzee clicked the phone closed giving a lightsome laugh to the open and a smile to the fact that Karkat had left long ago. Then again, the clown didn't expect the moirail's patience to whir so long.

He wheeled himself to his recooperacoon to dream throughout the morbid daylight of slightly less morbid dreams filled with his best bro, sopor pie, and buttons.


	6. Hot Faygo & Hot Fires

_****Author's Notes:_

_Ehehe, yeah I'm not sure why in the loving lord this chapter was previously posted as "**CHAPTER 4 BLUH, BLUH"** we've had one too many of you, chapter 4, so excuse the flippancy, but you'll have to leave. So basically, here's the unprecedented Chapter 6 :B THANK _YOU, REVIEWS ARE mIrAcLeS! __

**Chapter 6**

Ding. Dong.

The bull-headed troll had a vague case of deja vu as he opened the door once again for his best mate, Gamzee. This time around, it seemed the clown had at least given proper care to gussy up some. Sporting a grey slouch hat, purple cardigan, and scarf seemed to put him in the 'fancy' section instantly. After all, this is Gamzee, and for him, was probably as fancy as he could get which was saying something."Hey Gamzee! I see you've got yourself all, uh, decked out today. Why is that?"Tavros thought the formality was in some sort of apologetic vibe for the awkward that had happened the week before. Honestly though, it seemed as if Tav had just brushed it off in his sleep. He couldn't stay mad at Gamzee, not that it qualified as 'mad' in the first place. Nothing made Tavros very 'mad'. Not even Vriska.

"Aww shit brother, the jig is up! It's all as if the warmth of the moon don't even exist at us anymore. Brr!" Gamzee added a child-like chattering of the teeth, how **silly.**Tavros tried poking his head out the door, but the freeze came rushing in like it was being chased down as soon as he approached. Letting Gamzee in quick, he shut and bolted the damn door. It _was _starting to look like winter out there.

Gamzee shuffled in, or more so did the wheelchair equivalent of shuffling in, and on his way skimmed Tav's skin.

"You look... like you're, um, really, really cold actually, Gamzee" Tav had a tingle chasing up his spine from the quick skin-on-skin contact himself.

"Yeah bull-dozer-bro, it's pretty fucking brutal out there, but hell, I can take some motherfucking chill anytime, heh." Gamzee rollered himself into the conjoined dining block next to a mahogany table where he stopped to rub viciously at his arms.

'Maybe I'll light a sicknasty spark like this' thought Gamzee.

"I, uh, can make some cocoa, maybe? you do like cocoa, last time I checked right?"

Gamzee shook his head no, and after setting his scarf and hat aside on the table, dove into one of the plethora of cases he had brought. No less expected Tavros as Gamzee hiked up out of his bag with a frosty Faygo.

"Th-that's obviously cold, Gamz!"

"...huh, well couldn't we warm this fucker up then?" Tavros blinked, disturbed by the concept.

"Wh-what? Haha, no way, that's impossibly silly, even for, eh, you Gamz!"

Gamzee hiked a brow up high, his eyes begging to differ.

Soon the indigo-blood 'culinary-connoisseur' was wheeling himself to the nutrition-block across which was on an open-layout. The whole hive seemed inviting, to be fair. The entrance leading straight to the dining area and a slightly cramped nutrition block with the brothering living block down a corridor, there was little furniture and a lack of doors distinguishing the dining and nutrition block, actually, but the whole preparation-area was lined in counter-top.

'Enough for a few mother fucking pies' noted Gamzee. He took full advantage of said attribute by slapping down all the tell-tale ingredients of 'sopor pie', including the more than harmful chemical by which it was named after, **sopor. **Yes, sure, trolls thought it innocent enough, as far as to even _sleep_ in it. Gamzee however, seemed to have never been taught proper sleeping etiquette. It'd be the human equivalent of making a 'pillow and headboard smoothie'. **Yummy.**"G-Gamzee, I really don't think warming it up will, uh, make the taste become any, you know, better." He lanced a quizzical stare at his general vicinity.

"Watch, and motherfucking educate yourself, Tavbro. Hehe"

He went on to set the kitchen burners up to a slightly stupid-dangerous heat. The oven was also flipped on and the clown dutifully ventured off to the other side, the counter-top side, to knead his sick-whimsy dough. "Gamzee...a re you preparing dinner? I mean already? It's not even midnight yet." Tav cycled himself into the corner of the block, below some cabinets, so as not to be in his way, but atleast keep him under a watchful eye. "Nope! I do not even have the motherfuckin' munches for that yet, just thought you could all be in use for some sick sopor" Gamzee tied his reams of hair back with a band, and slipped on one of Tav's aprons. It was something he never realistically wore while cooking or otherwise. It liked to stay hiden in one of the lower-side drawers, but Gamzee took a hankering to it once he discovered it and couldn't quit it since. That had been one of the very early visits, as Gamzee stewed in retrospect, and had flowed much smoother than the very caveman-like first time. Gam chuckled out loud at the thought. "What's in you'r think pan, Gamzee?"

The taller troll lifted his head in response. "Oh, haha, nothing less than miracles, Tav. I got thinkin all about the very virgin time we hung at the hive, hehe, you till remember that, Tavbro?" Tavros clustered his brow & shook no. "No, no... I mean. What're you thinking?" Tavros hooked a finger at the idle motion Gamzee was processing. Somewhere beneath his thoughts, he had stuck his can of Faygo above the burner's flames. 'Warm faygo. oh yeah.'

Gamzee laughed recumbently, then layed back some to prop his feet atop the dormant burner-side._ 'This is... so dangerous'_

Tavros thought , as he successfully delivered a {2x Facepalm!}

"Gamzee, I appreciate you wanting to make me something, that, well, that is a thing very dear to your vascular pump, so to speak. This isn't safe though, I don't think."

Tavros gingerly picked off the legs that rested so awfully close to the fire.

"Nah, Tav, you know I can handle sick flames, hehe." Gamzee moved his chair towards his troll-mate and nestled his feet atop the other's lap instead.

"Oh yeah? I , uh, would not think of, um, getting too cocky, haha"

"Ah shit, you're telling _me_, bro? Come at me, tav. Come one, hit me with the illest verse you can all muster up, yeah?" Tavros instantly straightened his spine , clutching his arm-rests, and as another factor of obvious discomfort, colored slightly copper.

"I ... y-yeah! Hells to the, uh, yes i mean! I will most definitely muster. And what I'm mustering will righteously be ill. It's a poison to , uh, kill. But it's a disease with a luster. My rhymes, that is. That's near-definitely up in your business. But don't heave too hard on account of my pandemic. Now here's where I pass the gnarly ill to you, and you, uh, unfortunately get sick."

Tavro's ear-shattering verses done and done with, Gamzee picked up the slack. Or lack there of.

"Shiiiit, Tav! I need some motherfucking encore here! And I would if I could, trust. But shit, I know I all can get some must-er up in me as to those epidemic flames. I had my pan set at our first chill-hand. And no, none of what I'm spitting is tame. however, I had to refrain, for what was up at my think-pan was so primal, it'd be better used as a motherfucking duster. Do you remember, Tav? The first time I all came?"

Tavros blinked. He was being asked a direct question, he realized, not being regally scolded down with un-healthy rhymes. "Yes... that is one of the clearer things I can remember."

_'and most absolutely the better ones'_

Tavros left out.

Tav lost the facade of a rap session, opting in lieu for a flash back or two. The very first time Gamzee had shown at his window, {no , not doorstep} it'd only been _so _awkward finding a way to politely word '_no i don't want to make out with you, uh, Gamzee.' _

However, Gamzee payed his respects to Tavro's personal space.. for the most part. At the moment, Tav hoped that Gamzee could still somewhat keep his distance to civil. "Oh damn, did I just put a motherfuckin' dent in our chill vent?" Gamzee raised his brows apologetically, using his fingers as drums against each other. Tavros looked, thought it strangely framed Gamzee. Being nervous in a wheelchair, that is. What was the word? Oh, yes.

**Irony.**


	7. Personal Space'

**Chapter 7**

"N-no! Gamzee, it's fine, I was just coming around to remembering the, um, 'sloppy makeouts' that never were." Gamzee blinked, eyes dulling to a parchment blank stare._'have I hit a soft spot?' _thought Tav."Oh , Hahah!" Gamzee pit-fell into a seize of laughter.

"That ol' bitch-tittin proposition. heh."

Gamzee's jaw ran indigo up to color his cheeks aswell.

_'it's still all open to be a proposition, you know, Tav?'_

He wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't say that aloud though, thought Gamzee. Tav squinted, spotting the display of plum-hues and giggled. "Haha, well is that proposition , um, expired any?"

This was at the very bottom of Gamzee's _**'what tav'll say next!**_**' **list. He blnked in wide surprise, mouth agape.

"N-no! Not that I'm, asking, no, haha. That offer is sort of probably void anywho since becoming matesprits with Vriska, you see." Gamzee bit his lower lip, trying to choke back his thoughts from evolving to full-fledged words. He unfolded his legs from Tav's lap and scooted himself directly in front of the other troll. Knees-to-knees in their wheelchairs, actually. The highblood's condition wasn't so bad as to where he was a vegetable from waist-down, but he definitely couldn't even begin to consider standing, much less walking on the pair of legs. "So, wait, hold up, Tav. What're you all insinuating?" "I, I'm not saying we should- Well, I'm not _insinuating_ - I just wanted to know you could keep your space. Is-is that alright with you?"

Gamzee's charcoal eyes seemed to catch light, and faintly, so barely there, was a sacherine ring of lilac starting to developed. It was a dark-room, vacant save for a purple picture in the center being bathed in chemicals and growing eerie color. "I'm not sure I understand the mothertrucking directions, Tavbro."Gamzee insidiously inched in, locking his grip onto Tav's knees for support, his upper Torso falling slowly towards the other.

"What all can you define to be your general 'personal space'?"

The bull-horned troll receded, trying desperately to become his chair's heading or part of the cupboards behind him. "I-i, Gamzee this is definitelymy-"

"Oh, I'm still not sure I'm all getting my motherfucking understand on about me. Is this here? part of your space?" Gamzee waved with one hand to a make-believe boundary line. Tav looked straight to the face of his current assaulter. Eyes a-drudge, but not necessarily construed as 'a drag'. His make-up caked skin was at the very least, crisp with grey and white lines, Tav thought and somewhere off towards a halcyon section of his mind, wondered if he could pull off guy-liner half as well as him. As for the entire rest of Tav's pan, well, it was miraculously _on fire. _Thoughts, words, and petty excuses for reasons for Gamz to keep his distance were flying fast as if shot from the hip.

"Th-that's most definitely more than-"

"hm, what about this, bull-bro?" Gamzee leaned in even further so, his hands spidering up his thigh. Tavros was cornered as far back as he could be, he swallowed, nervous jitters, like fairies themselves racing up his spine and seemed to hold Tav captivated in the dead of his palm, like on of the fiduspawn monsters he adored so.

The eyes-

"G-gamzee! I think... I think"

The eyes never stoppedlooking. Not in an intentional, holier-than-thou judgment. Only a contemplative, half-lidded, gaze, sharp in it's own conservative way.

It was...

'_Addictive'_

Tavro's mind supplied. It'd been doing weird things lately. Out of place sort of things that Tav wasn't so sure of. So much so {in ironic example} that he found himself wanting to unravel the borderlines of the clown's 'personal space' aswell.

but.

"I-I think that's close enough!"

Then a loud thud. A splitting crack & a bang later, and the two had already remembered the _ridiculous _can of Faygo simmering on the stove. Well the has-been Faygo. The heat had chopped the metal down, and out fizzed everything like a fuckin' jet spray. A sticky jet spray. "Oh, fuck, brother! Faygo-fountain galore! Haha!" Gamzee, now un-glued from Tav's legs, seemed forever content in his little miracle meteor-shower. Tav seemed to only sit, calloused by confusion. Still shook up from designating his 'personal space'.

_'that was... tougher than I though it'd be. phew!'_

"Hells yes! HELL, FUCKING, YES! Look, it's raining miracles Tav!" Gamzee had far-and-between abandoned the ponytail, only because the hair band knew all too well _that _sorry mop could not be tamed. No domestication for Gamzee. Tav finally snapped back, giving way to laughter, he shouldered the fact that unless Makara was a far better house-guest than he though, Tavros would end up cleaning it all. The unaccommodated weather now subsided, Gamzee sat, still snickering and probably gritty from head-to-toe. It was an unmitigated disaster. "Gamzee! ... You barely have just gotten here, and already you need an ablution? Hehe." Tavros put evidence to his words by scootchin' up adjacently and using an index to prod his skin. The appendage popped off with a sticky dew, as expected.

"Hah, well Tav, you ain't exactly a spit-shinin' whistle yourself either, hm?"

*poke*

He judged the finger for a second before deciding that sucking the sugar off was the best way to go. Tav processed the action with a flush of color to the cheeks.

"W-well, I guess, no, not really anymore, haha. Even if I'd already taken an ablution today." He sighed something in happy disappointment. Tavros couldn't entirely take this catastrophe as filler for the conversation that couldv'e been about their first hang out at his own hive. THe 'offer' however, couldn't be carried out with since Tav already had Vriska as Matesprit, and was all he ever really needed. Gamzee muttered something about _'The Motherfuckin' delicious indoor foreca_sts', but Tavros was zoned into his thoughts._ 'I mean, um, yes Vriska is , well no doubt a vricious girl. It is really only tough-love though. She __**did**__ lighten up on me considerably, also. Even going as far as to kindly abide by my, um, __**'mind fuck' **__rules, as she puts it. No spying or mind-controlling within this hive-hold! Hehe.'_

Gamzee found he could surreptitiously slip his hand into Tav's, if only because he was too overwhelmed with staring at the cieling, tending to his own thoughts."Ahem, Don't space away from me here, Tav, You don't all have the need to take another ablution. Look-see here!" The sticky bastard grabbed Tav by the arm and ran his gangly tongue over the wrists. "AH!" The violated troll pulled back on a whim. "WhWhat're you doing?"

His face bewildered, he whiped his palms of the purpley residue on his plad shirt. "You won't motherfuckin' believe it, Bull-bro. Faygo tastes like up and even more of a miracle on you, haha." Tavros raised the clean hand to cup over his mouth, trying to hide a snicker and his vibrant blush.

"I-uh, wouldn't bet that that is quite true.I'm going to ablute the rigid wick-nasty from myself now. Then I'll come back to um..." Tavros scanned the ugly mess."Clean up here. Sign. You should probably get those pies done too so, uh, I won't have to worry about that, if you can, that is." Tavros franticly muttered.

Gamzee was already crossing his line of standing, {so to speak} again, pulling in a bit too close in front of him , as if there had never existed an exploding bottle of Faygo soda. "I could just all..."The jester once again, questioned the fine-pock-marked line of Tav's personal space, drawing in nearer. Tav's blood thumper made godspeed record, his focus unable to leave those other, dramatically loose eyes. Gamzee once again made a reach for Tav's palm.

"Clean up the motherfuck here, while you go!"The high-blood smiled with shut-eyes, blinding himself to the near-definite seizures Tavros was giving himself.

"I-i, Yes! That's a good, uh, idea! Th-thank you!"

With that, Tav race-car-drove himself off to the hygiene block, trying to build a blockade between his think-pan and thoughts.

_'Oh, for pupa's sake. If he's going to keep, uh, doing things like that... I may possibly have to, um, re-evaluate my 'personal space.'_

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes:<br>_

_Hoorah! For glorious seckshoo-al implications! Not really, no, I jest. x'D I suppose 'personal space' would be a realistic issue for poor Tav-woes. Fortunately, I share some of his phobia in that x'D so I suppose it gets easier to write about? hehe. Either way, I'd like to see about a Beta-Reader, Not sure how to go about doing that, but if anyone cares to kindly suggest something , please feel free to shoot me a message. c: THANK YOU, REVIEWS ARE MiRaClEs~_


	8. First Bite

Chapter 8

When Tavros had purged himself of all foreign Faygo, he decided: 'Warm blooded' is a stupid term. In no way did he, or his fellow blood-cells feel any sorts of warm. It _did_ seem like winter was coming. He needed warming up. A quick pull-over jumper in the dark and he's got himself a fixie!

Shimmying down to the kitchen once more, Tav's sniff cavities were enlightened with sugary stimulants. And yet another shifty accent added by Gamzee's carefree humming. Tavvy wheeled around, silent and percieving as a mouse, only to perch just behind the corner of the outer-counter. Peeking out, he feared the damage done and his ignorance for letting him do so.

_'Oh, wh-what if there isn't nearly, uh, half the block left?'_

"Tav? Chico, what're you doing?"Even down to the same details. Same wheelchair, same model, even flooring, these be that as it may, Gamzee still towered high over the other. Tavros inched out from behind his hidey-hole and put on a brave face to confront the sure-fire mess that Gamzee'd made.

To no surprise, the kitchen was sparta. It was littered with dough-slabs stuck to places they shouldn't be, green sludge caked between tile-cracks, some pieces of wood had been scratched paintless, but atleast the Faygo was off the burners. "I..haa" Tav sighed one of his slightly maternal {or feminine, depending who asks} sighs and shook his head with a grin. "I'll clean this up, how about you, uh, get settled in? I mean your bags. Unless you rather me carry them, which is fine too, just so you -" "Shooshooshoosh!-" Gamzee took a suspiciously sopor-reeking index to Tav's monologue. "No troll's gonna bat a fuckin' lash 'till you all get your well-deserving comfort on." He fiddled with the other's chair-joints a minute before whipping it 'round to reveal a loaded table. Loaded with sopor that is. The ex-barren table was now laid with doilies embroidered into fairy-incorporated themes, a pie for each, a haphazard assortment of different cups and plates, all drawn together by the piece de resistance. A horn-pile center piece. Because what lovely family dinner would be caught without it's assy pile of squeaking junk in the center.

What ever the fuck would be caught _dead_ that is. Tav didn't really seem to mind though. He thought it all the better to condition himself for the upcoming antics involved in living with the troll, or so he was sure the contraire, he actually found it somewhat endearing. 'He already set up dinner? But, uh, I think even if I may not be any Doc Scratch in terms of, um, hostli-ness, that I should be the one cooking? He is _my_ guest after all.'

Tav mulled over serving a tray of doggie-molded candy in a tin, but quickly branded the idea as **silly. **Gamz pushed Tav to a spot on the table. "This seat has your motherfucking name over it Tav, dig in!"

The irony in itself was a pool to drown in. Tav never really had any use for chairs, so aside from a scarce few relaxation couches, none were found in the homey hive.

The pair soon found themselves in the company of an open curtain, a little fire-producing-lipids wick, {better known as the notorious: Candle.} and each other. On his way, cycling aside Tav at the table, Gamz made sure to ruffle his still-wet locks.

"Eep!" Tav was quick to shoo the intruding limb away, to Gamzee's laughter. "Put 'em tits on dry ice, Tav, was just all observing at how a brother's hair is like while wet. All stuck up and flipped back and shit." He posed a quizzical face, Tavros. Tav, on the self-aware side, coveted a mirror and tried to re-position the soaking sop. Gamz took the initiative by re-introducing his beanie.

"Here, drenched-bro."

He smiled to himself, appraising how barely his elephant-tusks for horns wedged into the holes. "Th-thank you, Gam. I -uh, Have to draw a bit of a line though. You know I've never actually had any pie before. I don't think we should break that clean streak, right?" Gamzee pondered in whatever excuse for a thinker-ticker he had. "Well it wouldn't be a streak unless you'd all fuckin' tried it before, hm?" Tav swallowed back his nerves. "Well yes, in technical terms, but I'm still not so-" "Awh, shit Tav. Look at me, I eat that all the fuckin 24/7. I'm fit as a troll-fiddle." Tav's pan whispered something along the lines of:

_'No, your just like me now, and then again, not at all. I would not call that any kinds of healthy. Alot more so than myself though. Since walking is a thing that is most conveniantly, uh, still within your grasp, eventually.'_

"What'dya say, bull-brony?" He held up a mucky piece of goop. It was only _so _intriguing. Tavros stared, inching away,

"O-ok! Fine! I mean, it is an honest true-to-goodness yes! Hand that here please."

Rufio seemed to kick in at the worst of times._

Tav awoke the next day, covered in sopor-slop by his recooperacoon.

_'Ah, n-no! I fell out of the 'coon again.' _He was a brick wall for a minute, give or take, just cemented to the floor. 'at least the night-terrors were not that, um, prominent in visiting last night." Imagine that time when you woke up in a complete 360 from where you remember laying to sleep. Or how remembering dreams gets only infinitely harder after your crusty eyes open. Now imagine both and you have a confused Tavros. His chair, he realized, wasn't chained to the ramp, as it should. However, his legs didn't find the energy to miracle themselves up. Tav was pre-occupied filling his nothing with snippets of dreams.

_'Th-there was Gamzee... and sopor pie. Lots of the, um, rude-nasty, pies.'_

The green glitter-freeze of the dream pies were recalled.

_'We, uh also then sat around and popped in one of Karkat's so-called 'classics' that Gamzee had taken. What was it? I'm half-sure of 'Troll Princess Bride.' or 'Troll City Of Angels.' Either way... we didn't, uh, watch it even. because...'_

Tav's fingers twitched, recollecting the Details.

_"We were too busy with sloppy make outs."_

_Author's Notes:_**AND SO COMMENCED THE SMUTTING OF TAVROS NITRAM. xD**


	9. Breakfast at Gamzee's?

**Chapter 9**

The taste of Gamzee still thrived on his lips. It tickled and spread warm across his body like infection. Swarming and leaving tingles. Of course, Tavros was blushing deeply in embarrassment by now from imagining his friends' taste so thoroughly.

_'W...wow... What the hell kind of, uh, sweet dream was that?... I mean technically, a uh, nightmare? I'm not sure.'_

Tav twiddles his hair between index and thumb, trying not to mull it over anymore.

He sucked at it.

Eventually, he remembered the night wasn't getting any younger, and rolled himself back into his chair. Dawning a pupa-pan type of ringer tee and the customary un-buttoned flannel, he headed for the door. **"Breakfast, Bull-Jockey!"**Groggy and weary, the first face to greet him couldn't have been anyone better than his best troll.

"G-Gamzee! I just, very literally rolled O- *Yawn* f bed..."

The yawn travelled to his ears, and performed a show of wiggling. "Besides, it is, uh, pretty clear a thing, I thought, That I don't actually eat sopor pie. Of variants there-of."Tav grimaced to the side at the bold display of sopor-pie being jiggled in his face. Imagine a pillow and blanket as plush as puppet rump being shoved in your face after a horrible night of sleep. Then you've got Tavros. "Aw, hehe, you don't fool me Tav-bros, I know you've got yourself all fuckin' hitched now. Here! I don't bite!" He sheathed his teeth, confidently urging the pie and doubting his 'no-bite- courtesies.' "W-well, I hope by 'hitched' you, uh, mean detoxed, right? Um, Like I said, Gamzee, it was all a... silly dream... and nothing much happened yesterday." Tav's efforts sounded none self-convincing, rather than stating cold-solid facts. Gamzee blinked and nibbled on the pie-crust in return. "Mm.. webl, ubcourthe, it all did, nobtherbucker!" Tav sort of coughed out a laugh, feeling sort of suddenly ill. "Well, yes, haha, ofcourse _something _happened. I think... my pan's all fuzzy so , um, there was hot-faygo... then uh, Dinner, I guess... then. Was it Trolltanic? or... Atrollment?" Gamzee deserted his pie for a moment in order to properly talk some."Nah, brother, it was like... Karkat-bro's favorite. Troll Brokeback Mountain or some other miracle title. I. . . uh. You _did_ like the pie yesterday, atleast. 'Dunno if you changed your mind then. hmph." He slugged off his shoulders and took a deep chunk of his pie. Tavros blinked expectantly at the other with eyebrows turned skyward. _'... Hand that here please.' _The lines ran over his head, the picture rolling like a stop-film. He remembered plopping in front of the image-box with the gelatinous green cheesecake-consistency pie in hand. He could even muster up some lines from the movie itself, he reckoned, since he was sure some of that _cheesy _language couldn't have been his. Or Gamzee's.

_'__I wish I knew how to quit you...'_

_'Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it... '_

and most of all, _'Jack, I swear...'_

Now dialogue aside, he was sure Gamzee couldn't be as romantic... or sappy for that matter, haha. Oh even the thought of it. There was some censored area of the film-in-motion part of his memories, however.

" I... I did have a few didn't I? That's , um, well atleast I know now that that wasn't a dream." He sighed. re-rewinding and playing the tape that was his dream. Or well, technically memory now. There was some glitchy magnet-affected part of the dream that couldn't be watched clearly. "Haha! Oh great, You all up and fuckin' remember then? That's... that's miracles Tav. I was so motherfuckin' mindfucked last night. Couldn't even catch a couple miraculous winks. Was so jitter-scared out from my mind, really..."

_'I wasn't sure you'd... think of me the same in the morning. After all, I feel like I guilt-tripped you, Tav-bro, into something you never even could've done with me before the sopor. You remember the makeouts and all though, I knew you could all be easy about it right?'_

"W-well... I feel just fine! I mean, uh, " Tavros debated explaining the little ill he felt rising up, ever since that morning, but decided against it, so as not to, well, worry Gamzee. "Go ahead, bro, speak your mind..."

Tavros felt like he was speaking out his rectum.

Honestly, there wasn't much he was sure of except that he'd eaten pie and watched movies with Gamzee. That seemed fair enough though, right?

"N-no. That's it haha! I'm just fine , I mean." He grinned toothily, his eyes closing tight. It was frankly, somewhat fetching in the high-blood's eyes. How carefree he could seem while still keeping so much humility between doses of self-awareness. Gamzee rolled into the room, closing the door behind him and gingerly pressed his hands into the other's lap. "I mean ... uh, trying new things and watching movies is always so much fun with you, Gamzee!" "Yeah, son! That's what all I'm even preaching at! ... Trying new things, Tav... I'm just glad your okay with it. hehe." Now running deep ditches through their brains were thoughts on either end of the spectrum. Opposite poles, so to speak.

On Tav's end we had _'Gamzee, I appreciate you not t-taking advantage of me or breaching 'personal space' when I was uh, apparently more of a useless vegetable than I already am. I mean, I don't um, need to be comatose too, but I know that kiss-part was a dirty dream. Haha, I'm glad your not psychic, or I would uh, just have a field-day with the depraved embarrassment.'_

And on the other hand we had Gamzee, _'Ahh shit, Tav, I know you were all a privy troll to your personal bounds and... well Vris-chic. but you still let me in Tav, sloppy makeouts and all. Some real pupa-pan-tastic miracles Tavros.'_

Be as it may that Gamzee did what he'd done {or not done, debatably} he never intended to ruin any sort of matespritship. Truth be told, he wouldn't, couldn't and shouldn't. It was an off the rails idea, in a very scary way. He didn't know what to make of the situation, since at the moment, he didn't treat it as a situation, any more than it seemed like a miracle to him. If one thing could be proved though, it was that Gamzee really did care for his best friend, and would continue to do so, in whatever way he was leashed to. At whatever pace and label Tav cared to put on them.

Gamzee snook his wheels unto the floor and stationed his palms in the pupa-spun-threads on Tav's head_. 'Look at that fuckin' bed head Shag-Hawk, bull-bro. It's not called a shag for no reason heh.' _Tav slung his head low under Gamzee's touch. He just kept sinking back in his chair, now made of quicksand. "Um..."

Gamz smushed their faces in, nuzzling at the noses. Tav lost the ability to move or breath, for that matter, entirely. He now _was _completely paralyzed, a useless stiff. He hoped in lieu of positive thoughts, that the iconic fence of personal bounds could still stand. It was coming down quicker than the twilight zone drop, however.

"B-breakfast!" Tav reared himself back and rimmed to the door with wild abandon. Abandon of Gamzee, that is.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes:<em>

Yo! THIS IS MADNESS! nope. THIS IS SOPA!. Which means, i'm here to declare how much I _don't_ own Brokeback Mountain, or Homestuck for that Matter either. D: Oh but If I ever miraculously somehow owned BOTH... /insertevilursula-esquelookhere/ hehe. I'm a bit of a daft dunderbumpkin, so I'll probably be inserting associative lyrics soon. LYRICS THAT FIT ATLEAST. c: Also, still sort of iffy on the whole beta situation? ~ THANK YOU, MiRaClEs ArE ReViEwS!


	10. A Thieve Of Kisses

Chapter 10

"Karckles, you are ridiculously under my control. Hehe, yes!" The pet-named Karckles began an adulterous slur, but caught his tongue and grumbled instead.

She cackled and gave the shameless troll a rather racy lick on the face.

"You're blushing, Karckle-cat, I taste it plain as night." "Why in fuck Do I gotta do the dirty work, though?" It's, honestly, a bit of a pointless endeavor anywhore. I'm a dense fuckwit when it narrows down to paper work!" Karkat dropped his folder to the desk, as Terezi prodded him with her trusty cane. "Ey, we flipped for it, Karckles, fair and cut square." "Yeah, with your loaded coins." "Haha! Loaded coi-PFFT! You are a strange and silly boy, Karkat. I can smell the limp silly right off you. '_Anywhore' _Who's next?" "Bluh! My pan, the fuck who's being burn out, that's what's next.""Ahh Gamzee, you mean. Haven't spoken with that clown for ages." "All the better, you wouldn't wanna talk to that gimpy ninny hammer if it was to save your loaded cointraband business." the blind troll pulled up a brow from beneath her glasses.

*sniff*

"Do I smell a crabby little stooge? Hehe." She pinched at his cheeck, only to be bitchy-slapped away. "No.- You should know by now that clowns are my downfall. Especially the flirty-as-fuck kind that can't keep their grubby claws to themselves."

He growled a bit, but Terezi knew better than to take it seriously. It was one of his loving growls. "Well, to be technical, I'm allowed to, no? Sort of one of the mandatory perks as to being in a matespritship. Which leads me to point B, How _could_ I keep these lonely digits to myself? Hehe, it's just not a thing, even."

Karkat's smirk betrayed his accompanying huff as he passed along Gamzee's invite letter. "Ah! Grapes or jelly?" she hovered over a few bottles of skeevy looking elixirs. Karkat simply scoffed, refusing her an answer. She giggled and took a bottle into her claws, quickly dispersing the scented liquid unto the letter. "There. Scent-coded and all." The two sat at opposite ends of the table, situated in the corner of Terezi's room. Karkat, from the pile of wonderfully mundane papers and folders, pulled out another envelope and began inking off another invite. "Who's the next sorry sap on our v.i.p. list?" Terezi responded with a prompt and loud "TAVROS!" She cackled, pulling out another perfume bottle labeled 'chocolate'. Karkat threw his hea back on the chair rests. He could already imagine the brutal bouts of fresh-ass-whooping flarping they would relive. After all, the original trio would rejoin since Aradia was being invited as well. Actually, it was mostly all Terezi's idea to start with. She couldn't recall the last time she'd seen the crew really have a get together. So she figured none the better than the fancy legislacerator to throw a party of none-too-political reasons. Just because she was all about law, didn't mean she wasn't a bitchtits serious raving political-party thrower.

Kakrat disapproved of so many demon-spawn creatures in one place. It wasn't really in a troll's nature to really 'get along' , but then again, it was all his hate of fun and he couldn't help missing everyone. "Oh. Yeah, hey, it's really none of my precious concern to be preaching about it. Well, no, fuck that, because Gamzee's my pale emotion-fuck buddy, and frankly if he's not goint to be pulling his own weight around, then he becomes even more of a concern.-"

Terezi wished his matesprit wasn't so shakeshperianly monologue-y.

"Hmm. Can I deduce in a very cocky manner that he really is gimpy then?" Karkat quickly sped over and muffled her lips in one of his famed 'shooshes.' "... Yes Thank you for pointing out just how incapable my best fuckin' tied at the nooks friend is. I don't mean just his legs either. I have to baby his scum-ass around for the love of gog." Terezi mulled over the info before laughing a bit. "Hehehe, but not exactly. If he really was as royally screwed as you described, you'd be tending to his 'scum-ass' at the very moment. Tending just as one presses fresh laundry, actually hehe." "Put your witty point-making skills away, you've only got it half right. Yeah, he's regally screwed over, but he's got himself a lucky break. As aforementioned, he's gone and bloody disabled something in his legs temporarily. It's a miracle within itself he didn't find a clown-recreational way of offing himself by tripping all high and mighty off his bogus clown device. BUT. I suppose he did some good in using whatever head he has left on his shoulders and rooming himself with sometroll who's had far too much experience with gimpitude."

Terezi stared at his long chain of sailor-mouthed ness for a moment, but then just as quickly produced a clawed hand to her mouth, trying to conceal a wicked grin. A small mutter of something related to ' About time those two hooked up' and a cackle was followed no sooner by a growl from Karkitty's direction. Terezi thieved the letter from his hand then. Only to drench it in a particularly peanut buttery smelling concoction. "Hehe, remind me then, to provide a platter of fresh peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, as any sane host would." she bit her tongue trying to hold in a giggle. "Oh, jar the shenanigans, Terezi. Even with your fantasy date-maker skills, and even if Gamzee really oculd scout that sort of courage, Tav can't. He's got the ol' ball and fucking widow-infested chain cuffing him to spider troll." Terezi's grin fell flat, a complete 360 off the handle. "Ahhh... Vriska. Even if all she's does anymore is try too hard for kismesitude? Poor, sweet, Tavros. None the wiser to how much hate Vriska could kill him with. Metaphorically speaking. It's delicious, hehe."

Karkat made a 'good point' face. Nothing all too common, he was never the sort of troll to admit a defeat or even utter any levels of underlying 'touche's.' It was a sort of hybrid pout and scowl.

Almost too much delicious sensory overload for Terezi's sniffer-dial to take. In fact, she did take him. The blind troll pulled some caliber of smooth move right then and cupped his flesh to hers. It was rugged, and stolen. Not an ounce expected even if *he* should by now. She wanted to keep his candy cane tongue to herself actually, so she could feel the bones of his knobby teeth. To match his horns, which Terezi found all the more hilarious and adorabubbles. A thieve of kisses.

_**Stole him blind.**_


	11. Nightmares

**Chapter 11**

The next few weeks progressed rather awkwardly for Tavros. And on the contraire, very smooth for the other. The clown had at least learned a few maneuvers for making wheelchair-life easier. It was really quite vexing, all the mixed signals flying throughout the air in that hive, like warfare air forces. Even Tinker Bull, the lovely sweet bull dad, seemed to think something was off the wall. He wasn't around enough to figure it out though. Fortunately, it wasn't all as if the world was burning down. Gamzee had been making some notable recovery process, or so the doc-droid seemed to think. Karkat's job nowadays was to pick him up and drive him to a physical therapy of sorts, when scheduled. It wasn't as big of a concern for Gamzee that he'd bother telling Tav however, not to mention he didn't want to worry him.

Of course, as Gamzee sat , making nice with a sewn up and probably well-loved host plush on Tav's bed, waiting for him to come home, he didn't stop daydreamin' about that kiss shared. He couldn't quite be sure what to make of it, but it certainly did make him happy, is what It did make.

'_Shit. Tav. I know it's all about faith, trust, and special stardust, but I don't even have the nearest clue as to how you all even feel on this. I mean, it's there. I motherfucking feel it. For me I mean, I've never pitied anyone as hard as I all do. Especially now, you know? It's like a brother had to go through the nightmare themselves to know just at what you live all everyday, Tavbro. Every ever-loving fuckall day. And worst is, you can't ever hope to wake up, either, unlike me. I feel so fuckin' shallow for not realizing….'_

At the current, Tavros had wheeled back home with his groceries under arm, and without second ado, Gamzee was running to the door.

"Oh! G-gamzee, Could you help me carry these in?" The indigo blood was already taking up more than half of his load and ram sacking the scanty brown bags. Gamzee noted how much more translucently the color of Tav's blood would look than this garish paper-brown. "ooh, peanut butter… chocolate, butterscotch…. Aaand" the list was continuous.

"And uh, some letters too? I mean, it's yours most totally. But I never gave note to forward your mail here?" Gamz poked his face back out from his curious-kitty paper-bag shenanigans, some white powder on his face. "Yeah, bro? Good lookin' out, let me see here." He replaced the bag atrocity with a small, already breached envelope. It was freshly relieved from it's waxy blue seal cage.

"Oh! I hope you don't mind that I sort of, haha, pried a peek myself? Curiosity killed the-"

"Killed the Karkitty, I know. It's all easy, atleast we're safe of any bomb threats or other silly shenanigans. You _are_ just the cleverest little fucker." Tav thanked his ancestors that he had no further association with Nepeta other than Friends. Curiosity killed the cat, and it could kill him. Besides that, he was allergic. He also found it somewhat far-fetched and indeed **SILLY** that someone would try some sort of mail-box bombing. Haha, how _silly_.

Gamzee was already mauling the poor parchment open with grubby fingers full of white powder and skimming over it with wild abandon. His forte was never much in reading, he did it only once in a single Alternian moon, and never much for pleasure besides slam poetry or pesterchum.

"… It's from our sightless sister, Tav! She is saying all that… we ought to come land her a visit next week for this rad-righteous party she's having. Hmph. Dunno, what do you think, Bullwinkle?"

Tav writhed in his seat. Well, as much as a half-paraplegic _can_ fidget. Tavros was a far, small, legless cry from 'Party Animal'. Indeed, his partyabillity factor wasn't any developed. He'd only in truth, been to a handful of them, probably not enough to fully develop any Partyabillity factor whatsoever. He knew though, that he was likely to give into Party Pressure. If, that is, Gamzee felt like applying it.

"I .. uh, well I know I usually am just a sort of downer at parties. Anyways, it's not like Terezi sent _me_ an invite or anything. It's, uh, probably not very accidental." Gamzee then smirked out of his bottom lip, pulling out a second letter from within the envelope. He handed it to Tav, and he copied.  
>"Uh, it…. This one <em>is<em> for me, yeah. Still, I can't help feeling that it's sort of well, just an empty gesture. Even Rufio has a bad vibe about this." Gamzee lowered his lashes to the floor.

And smiled.

He couldn't help it. The thought of Tavros being unwanted was simply something that…. Frankly, was not a thing. It couldn't be. He would not brave the wilds alone, not under Gamzee's half-lidded, lazy watch. If things came to bad terms, at the very least Gamzee would be there providing his sick horn-shooshes. It wasn't in any way, _fair_ to see a brother struggle as much. Gamzee wasn't even sure, _he himself_ could do the troll justice.

" Nah Tav, don't harsh yourself like that. I'll keep tabs on you, bull-bro. If anyshit wants to get his two cents in, I'll motherfucking Human resource their ass out. Heh." He felt pretty confidant in his Mangrit. Not that he'd need to use it, for he was sure there was enough to fear about him anyhow.

"I… thanks. I guess that provides some calibur of solace. Realistically though, I don't think I'd have much fun. I wouldn't be able to reciprocate in any way, the uh, life of the party." Tav was indirectly referring to anyone else that had better party-tactics than him. That was all of the trolls. Gamzee had always been a particularly keen raver, afterall, a clown's gotta entertain. He wondered what would change now, now that Gamzee was like him, but not quite. After all, the whole conundrum had been kept under tight wraps. Wraps worthy of a decaying, ancient, Egyptian figure stashed away to a tomb. No one would give _him_ half a flying rodent's ass worth of trouble. He was Gamzee Makara, Indigo blooded bard. He probably deserved more than Tav ever did, in any case.

Gamzee rolled over adjacently, and with fetid fingers, scuffled the bull's locks under his hand. "No way in mirthful hell, compadre. If any one gots any nasty bone to pick with you, they'll see to me first. Hehe." Tav's face fell into a despondent smile under Gamzee's hand. He never wanted anyone to fight for him, per se. He could take care of himself, really, as he had been by his lonesome for 7 or 8 sweeps. Not only physically could he defend himself, but he'd trained himself to preserve the mind from any masochistic thoughts that could potentially hook down his confidence any more so. If that was possible.

Still, it was a nice enough impression.

"Th-thank you. So, I can positively say that we are going then?" Gamzee nodded sinuously his fangs stuck out the side of his mouth. "Full Throttle, adora-bull."

Tavros swallowed back jittery anticipation.

* * *

><p>Gamzee's dreams that morning were injected with prose and snippets of memories. He remembered the first time he and Tav had hung out. The sting of rejection when he had been denied sloppy make outs was the backseat debutant to this memory. The just as quick recuperation was vivid too. Also in the mix, were memories of the more modern . The whole recipe for a sweet dream called ,diabetically, for the night he and Tavros had shared their first requited kiss. It was sloppy. It could be classifed into the make out corner. At any rate though, it meant a lot more to Gamzee than some fraternity-type of make out session.<p>

His lips had been moist and smooth, probably from all the time he invested in biting it raw. He couldn't be sated with twiddling his thumbs nervously sometimes. They weren't by any means soft, specifically. Not like a lady's either. He didn't even taste or _smell_ like a girl. It was something different. He could tell everything about him was different. He hadn't blinked or fastened his eyes once, however lofty his pan was, Gamzee wanted to be able to look at him, atleast for that first time. Tavro's hadn't been on the same track of thinking, he only fell into the kiss with flighty-aggress, eyes fluttering closed. He hadn't absconded or abjured, though, and that was all Gamzee needed to press forward. Literally. The clowmosexual had slanted forward, politely forcing the other body onto his back. The T.V had been long forsaken, and all that could be caught were glitches of static dialogue, none of it registered high in either one's pan. As fore mentioned, it was _sloppy._ Gamzee couldn't find a holster in the nape of Tav's neck, so he opted for blunderbussing straight into Tav's hair. That _was_ soft. A bit frizzy, if memory served right, but free of grime or product. He wondered how he kept it clean, it wasn't a very high priority for Gamzee afterall.

The make-uped madman had re-lived the feeling that morning, running his hands through the other's posy hair. It wasn't the same. Tav didn't respond as he had, with indulgence and joy. He wondered if it was inappropriate for him to bring it up. What could he do now though? He was sitting in an automotive vehicle waiting to arrive at Terezi's sure to be epitome of legends party. He sat idle and unconvinced of much, but still wearing his constant smile. Shotgun was the ideal place, obviously, to take for ponderings' purposes. Gamzee wasn't in shotgun. He was asleep at the wheel, everyone's lifeline wrapped around him in their ever-constant palpation. It was slowly coiling, squeezing the life out, drifting to a complete stop when slow motion cinemized the crashing of both Gamzee's and an unlucky stranger's cars. The jolt of pain was immense.

The jolt of waking from his nightmare was even more so.

Gamzee took his time in catching his breath, bent over and breathing heavily in the car seat. His only reign on reality had been the car-handle. He had fallen asleep shotgun. He figured then, it _was_the ideal napping territory. Not if it always called for nightmares though.

"You, uh, alright Gamzee?" Gamzee nodded, swallowing back the mistrust in his voice. "y-yeah brother. Just some ill-mannered nightmare fuel is all."  
>"Well good. I mean, I'm sorry you had to have a nightmare of all things, but , it's just… we're here!"<p>

Gamzee and Tavros both maneuvered themselves with clumsy grace and ungainly clamor up to Terezi's backdoor. The air was bitter and un-forgiving, even going as far as to shed a few flakes of snow. It had been layed down with a make-shift wooden elevator shaft. Conveniently, this worked well space-wise for the two trolls. Soon they were at the party's threshold. Now the brazen winds had really began to shift gears, the snow was littering everything, leaving wet spots on the weathered wood. They had no less time to knock before Terezi was already opening the gates to mighty frivolous shenanigans that was no doubt, cooped inside.

"Hehehe. I thought I smelled some grub-aged sandwich mates." The 'Peanut butter and Jelly' reference joined the stream's current that went right over their heads. Karkat in the background however, who was trying to push his vertically challenged self to the front, caught the hint with full force and plenty a 'BLUH!'.

"Terezi! Stop harassing our guests and let the nookwhiffs in! It's not as if your primitive whore-hut of a hive isn't jammed enough with sick fucks or anything! Alteast let the slightly more logical of the bunch in!"

Karkat tried to think of his Moirail as in some essence, logical. This was by no practical means true, but when taken as a whole, he was probably one of the least violent, most understanding losers to ever not give a fuck about the caste system. Tavros wasn't specifically one attuned to Karkat's person, but he also didn't have a crumb against him, so he thought of him as a mutual partner.

Terezi sidestepped herself from the door to let the deviced-dunderfucks in, she was none aghast to Gamzee's state of being. She had the privilege of first dibs on knowledge, behalf of Karkat. She had also, strategically foresaw how the other trolls would take it and was prepared for any of the outcomes. This was supposed to be a neutral grounds for any trolls. Any drama left at the door, she was taking no bullshit tonight. Karkat also felt obliged to keep peace at all costs tonight, he didn't feel up to hauling any ass other than Gamzee's home tonight. He was near positive he would have to, the drunkard had a heavy intoxication halo over him, after all.

"**WELCOME TO THE RAINBOW RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY, FUCKASSES." **

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes<em>

Hello Fangirls, look at your screen, now back to me, now back to your screen. Sadly, this Fic updates slowly.

So this is an aforewarning to slow updates :P don't expect them though! Just a tip off!

THANK YOU REVIEWS ARE MiRaClEs~


	12. Crypticism

**Chapter 12**

The party had progressed as soon as the other house guest raver douches took notice of a new arrival. There weren't many in that room at the current, despite it seeming to be the main attraction of the show. It wasn't much, as expected from a dedicated legisclecerator in training would be known for. The coast seemed almost clear, like there was an enjoyable time in for the both of Gamzee and Tavros. Sunny, picnic-weather, fucking conscionably clear. When, oh hell no, the mayday came raining on their parade.

"Whale, whale, whale, I see the landwweller's got a friend now , doesn't he? Nevver thought I'd hear that news. And wwho might the poor sap be, Tavvy?"

The fishy fiend sidestepped the crew at the threshold and spotted the one behind Tav.

The deviant's cocky act fell flat unto itself. He'd been the ifle tower on pride rock before seeing the device. Someone had taken a wrecking ball to the ifle tower.

"W-what the flyin fuckin dutchman happened here, Gamz?"

The other stared at him inquisitively, perhaps a little dry drool fossilled on his face from sleep.

"Well hey to your motherfucking self too, brine-bro."

"This is fuckin' unconscionable, I don't care if you'd rather fuckin' kiss the rancid dirt on land or not, who in their proper glubbin' pans does this to a highblood?" Tav shook his head violently, trying to form the right words to protest, but Gamzee beat him to it. "Nah, bro, dry ice-out the tits. This isn't no one's bad." Eridan's reply was little more than a quick fix of the glasses and a huff before he was off.

"Rude fuckass." Karkat murmured after the sea-sap. "Oh, ignore him deary. He must be sea-m-s-ing. Really though, Gamzee what happened here?" A bespectacled petite girl with ringlets of color every which way approached the pair. "Nothing I can't all handle, Fefishy." He lent down to rest his chin on a balled up fist which, in turn, layed against his lap. "Yeah, you sure as all hell can handle yourself. I don't plan on fucking babying you around for much longer, so make like an independent black lady and go learn to take care of yourself." The napoleon-complex troll took the space clowdet into another room, where Tavros quickly followed suit too.

This was the real deal. Now this was the definition of party. It screamed of unhealthy food and substance from every wall and tile crack. It was an appropriately sized block, aswell. Much more proper a place to get down, and as it was, the whole ceiling seemed to be getting down off it's hinges. The lights were some shitty excuse for strobes and search lights. The music was at an appropriate level…. For the deaf.

The DJ was none other than our lovely homo-chromatic eyed bee-troll. Most everyone was losing their sick shit busting a move on the un-tamable shag carpets of the block. "H-hey Aradia! I was hoping you'd show up! Hehe, well, L-long time no see, is what I'm trying to say." The fluid movements of the blank-eyed troll mimicked her voice. It'd darkened since Tav had last flarped with her. "Oh, why Hello Tavros! I have missed you as well. As much as I would hate to rid us both of our unhealthy partying, let us move to a quieter place, we can talk more in private."

The pair did abscond to a subtler room, some noise following suit from the door. An unoccupied lounge seemed to meet the requirements, as Aradia caught Tav up on the most recent news, mostly woman's gossip. Now it was Tavros' turn to provide the freshest of happs.

"O-oh so, Eridan and Sollux, um, don't actually want to fork each other's eyebrows out? Or is, is that completely off the hook wrong?" Aradia snickered politely, the image providing humorous basis. She nodded. "Yep. That seems right on the mark, Tavros. Hehe, you catch on quick. In fact the two seem a bit more… **ahem** red for each other, if you can catch that little tip off." Aradia winked, letting her hair fan across her knees as she rested her elbows on her lap.

O-ooh! She's grown it out, I think, a bit since I last saw her…. I hope she hasn't changed, uh, too much. Not that I wouldn't still like her, if she has.

Tav grew a tiddle shade darker, fully sipping in the meaning of that 'little tip off'. He was no savvy wiseass cougar with love, or relationships for that matter, but he wasn't exactly innocent either. Or so he told himself. Vriska _had_ corrupted him a bit, not that he blamed her. He had just always anchored himself down to the repentant thought that he would always be without love. He couldn't exactly say Vriska had _u__**ntied**_him from that safe haven he was anchored to, but perhaps she only moved the anvil. Paraded it around with her like a golden ticket with no intent whatsoever on using it.

"O-oh! That's…. fortunate for them? I suppose, I mean. If it's mutal-ish."  
>"Hahaha, silly Tav! You don't necessarily <em>need <em>to love someone to fall _in_ love."

Tavro's whole world had just been mind-fucked up and around the corner. "-w-what?"  
>"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being cryptic again, heh. All I mean is, trolls have the natural ability to make others fall in love with them, even if they think it's never going to be mutual. You know, dark, one-sided, sort of relationships. All the good stuff can just be blown to bits by love."<br>"…Y-you're saying that… it's easy to fall for someone? Uh, even if perhaps, you've already told yourself you w-wouldn't?"  
>Aradia puzzled it over, taking a sip of the dark chai tea she'd brewed herself. She nodded lithely with a smirk.<p>

_I'm in trouble._

Thought Tavros.

"H-how would one…. Prevent this, Aradia?" Tav bushed up his brows, jitters running through his fingers as they danced across his lap. Aradia swiftly replaced her cup on the table and quirked a brow, with a smile wide enough to shame troll-chesh cat. Tav hoped she wouldn't disappear though, since a mere grin couldn't help him.

"Wow, Tavros. I thought _I_ was cryptic? What could be the deeper meaning behind you needing to so greatly avert falling in love, hm deary?"

Tavros gulped. Aradia never missed a beat. In fact, it always seemed like she was the lone one on top of everything, like she had always been for decades. She was the one who'd just _know_things. As if she had been hopping around timelines for ages, collecting such knowledge. Tavros hoped she'd subtle it down, but also didn't want her to pull a Prometheus and run off for spilling such love advice on him.

"Oh… I… sign." Tavros picked at his nails, suddenly the only thing of interest in the room. He really wasn't a cheater. He didn't even think he'd ever be presented with the chance to _be_one. Rufio on the other hand, felt a bit of welling approval from knowing atleast he had a few people to choose from… in a sense. Because Tav knew full well the whole thing was just as liable to blow up in his face, as it was for the individual parties not to want him. No one ever wanted him. He wasn't a cheater though, that much was sure.

" I never said you were, Tav! Why would you? No need to defend yourself, you know I wouldn't tell a living soul!…. but you wouldn't mind if I shared it with a dead one, would you?"

Tav smirked a bit, as he realized the murmuring of thoughts out loud made a comeback. Oh yeah, there was also that power of hers, a party of post-mortem partyers at her beck and call. He nodded and swallowed back pure nervousness and envy in all of the calm Aradia sat upon. He wished he could tear a chunk of the loaf that was her calm, refined knowledge.

"I… like… someone. Well, I uh, think. Can't, um, really be too sure it's a thing." Aradia only listened, hands cupped around her tea cup, always holding a little smile.  
>"And… does 'someone' like you back? You think? Can you be sure it's a thing?"<br>Tavros shrugged a shaky, broken shrug.  
>" Tav. Incase you misheard me the first time. I do not think you are the kind of troll thread of infidel material. But you also never answered my question, if you had to, why would you cheat?"<p>

Tav blinked, not thoroughly understanding the contradiction. He wasn't a cheater, according to Aradia. He would If for a certain reason, though? … He guessed it could be something like that. He never asked to be paraded like a ticket.

" I… Uh, wouldn't cheat. If anything, I would um, do only the most honest of things and uh, maybe confront Vriska up front? Uhh…" He shivered thinking of the words 'confront' and 'Vriska'. The two were the ugliest couple ever to splurge through his lips.

"If I know Vriska, she wouldn't take too kindly to that. And thank Gog I _don't_ know Vriska that well." Aradia snickered, eyes sliding to the side as she replaced her cup. A little blue spider tinkered there, but Aradia knew death well enough to know it wasn't this little one's time, she picked it up and set it out the crack of the windowsill.

"y-yes… but I do, Ar… and I'm also sorry to say, that uh, you are right again. I'm not too sure what she would say if I, um, 'dumped' her." He dashed in skepticism by casing the word 'dumped' in air quotes. "Then again, uh, I've never really thought _I _would ,haha, be the one to do anything like that. It shouldn't be a plausible thing."

Before any sort of agreeing grounds could be met, a little green figure was flying up from under the table. Tavros squealed at the little candy cane claws that rubbed sticky color over his cheeks. The figure settled herself in between his lap. "Scarrrredy-cat! Hehe, Equi told me he purr-fur-ed me to lose the claws to-nya-ight! So in lie of the season, I'm mew-sing these!" She raked the multi-colored hard candy hooks through Tav's cheek again, giving each one a lick. Tavros settled into a fit of laughter, if he couldn't enjoy any sort of feline due to his severe allergies, he could have the next best thing: Nepeta. She was as cuddly as a cloud, but it'd make her purr if you were to describe her as a cat.

"Haha, uhh yes! I see that, my cheek sees that too, heh. Um, but Nepeta, It's not that I don't like having you here, or anything of that sort, really. You , uh, just sort of interrup-… err int-purr-upted something important. Haha." The little green-clad figurine, dolled up, no doubt by Equius, for the occasion blinked up attentively. "Oh! I a-paw-logize! Hehe, it's just that Karkitty was getting crabby trying to round up the litter. So he wants you guys in the other room please!" The pair followed directions, Aradia smoothly wiping of her least torn skirt and leaving the bitter-sweet smell of death lingering.

The other room was the familiarly-empty one by the door. Well, the formerly empty one. When the trio fell back into the room, Nepeta skipping her way as Aradia held the door courteously for Tav, it was chock-full to the brim with the other trolls. Well, only briefly, since half the clan was already marching out the door.

_Is- is the party over already?_

"Oh noooooooo, Tav-Moe, you're in luck. You see, in favor of our lovely hostess' near illegal twelve perigee eve's spirit, the ladies will stay and bake some delicious sweets or whatever. While the gentlemen go out and brave the wilds, get the _real_ irons in the fire."

A brash Vriska with airs of smug-swagger to hand out left and right slid up behind Tav's device, running her hands down the front of his chest and forcing them into his pockets. Tavros thought she'd slipped something in there, but he didn't care to check.

_"They're going out fur Firewood…" _Nepeta whispered to Tav. _" mostly because Kar gets grrranky over the women's grape vine talk, hehe."_

"O-oh, Vriska! Hi! I hadn't had a , uh, chance to see you. I, uh, I think I need to talk to you abo-"

"-And I'm going with them!" She shut her eyes against a devilish grin and sauntered over behind Equius who was heading out the door. She bid a final goodbye, grabbed the axe propped outside the door, and off she fucked.

"…Sign."

"All in good time, Tav-woes." Aradia whispered. She was right. She knew lots about time anyways.

But was she always right?

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes<em>

OOOH MANLY VRISKA IS MANLY. Forever Testosterone. She be taking Paul Bunyon's role up in this log-cutting county fair competition. Heh. Guess who her lil paul bunyon blue ox could be? c: Well, I'm glad my updates have become a bit more frequent. Don't take it for granted please. c: also thanks for all le views and such.  
>THANK YOU REVIEWS ARE mIRaClEs.~<p> 


	13. Cheap Tricks & Cheap Medics

**Chapter 13**

Vriska had just barely escaped the door hitting her on the axe out. The rubber ring of a familiar tire had been her intervening grace. The passenger in the wheeled seat, however, couldn't live up to that title.

"Woah motherfuckress, watch your legs, chica! You got a good fuckin' pair."

"Oh, hahahahahahahaha, yeah, I suppose I do now that everyone seems to be losing them left and right like second-hand dice hehe.."

"Well, when you put it that motherfucking depressive way-"

"Oh, think nothing of it! I'm sure you'll find being a cripple and staying at Tav's house'll be buckets of fun. I just _know_ Tav agrees." With sass on her tongue, she quickly side-stepped the tire and was on her way.

Tav responded, small and receding into his chair, by trying to hide the color in his face with the sleeve of his homely, knitted sweater.

"So, Tav, you'll be alright by your fucking Lonesome?"

His teeth accidentally found their way latched into the cottony thread of his sleeve.

"W-what?"

'_you can't go out like that in this weather!'_

he thought to say.

"I, uh, Don't think, it's a very swell idea to um, chop wood or what, what ever in this weather."

It was Gamzee's turn to take the sleeve of his jumper and hide a snicker.  
>"Oh woah bro, I think I'll all up and leave the man-handling to the fuckin' dude-bags, I'm just gonna take some fucking spins in the snow, motherfucker."<p>

The disabled troll sat and stewed, deciding whether or not letting his best friend feel the chill of winter while in his vegetablized state was the grandest of schemes.

"Uh, G-gamzee! I really am just not sure if-"

"No prob, Tav, I'll bring you back a fucking snowflake."

With a click of wheels on tile, the two sole people that held Tav's heart were out the door, into the cold unknown.

He huffed, the neck of his sweater clinging limply over his nose, hiding from the breeze of the freshly-closed door.

"Sign." He sat idly, mulling over things that seemed to rear their ugly nubs at the most inappropriate of times.

'_What if he gets hurt? Any more that is, heh. I don't think I could help him cope with being maybe, full on paralyzed, not that I wouldn't try!.'_

'… _It'd be pretty damn lonely in the hive without him. But atleast I'd get a good night's sleep without worrying about him wrecking things haha…. No. that's a silly lie, if I had ever had one. It's not even a thing, because… I'd be ruined sleep-less worrying over just him.'_

Without consent, his device was being chugged down into the kitchen, where most of the others had absconded by now.

The double doors were elbowed open, and as soon as they were, Tav had to save his eyes with a forearm over his visage. The place was so damn bright and colorful. Ugh, it made his pan sort of sore. He thought it to be eclectically, and ultimately, pretty though.

Every nook and corner was jammed up to the horns with red and white pipings, every hook-resembling thing jutting out of a wall lined with many layers of traditional trollian makeout weeds. It was common courtesy to share a bit of lip on lip if you found yourself loitering beneath one where a comrade stands.

"You like , Tavvy? Hehehe, the ladies helped me set up camp." The cracked, hasty voice belonged to none other than the host of her very own party. She stood back, admiring the wall of color with her nose, it was a surprise she didn't just faint on nasal contact.

"Uh… y-yeah, Ter! It seems like your nose would, um, flip multiple sensory shits over it." Terezi didn't say so, but the half-moon grin on her face agreed with him.

"Get in the spurrit, Tavgrrros!" A bouncy, hyper-active green ball squirmed away from her spot behind his chair and lightly leashed one of his horns with a row of aforementioned Trollian makeout weeds. Carefully, of course, so as not to accidentally provoke something by poking a horn. That is definitely not what they needed on holiday.

He sat, poker-faced all the while, as if keeping his face at point blank would help him keep still. After she was done and had giggled away, Tav absently flicked at his new adornments.

'**Jingle'**

There were bells In there too.

"Oh, Hello Tavros! I am sorry to have such an overdue greeting, but it seems you have gotten around just peachy on your own as it is. As much as I detest meddling, (hehehe)" she paused to bite back a smirk. "I do believe it'd be worth your time to consider allowing me to solicit part of your eve by christening you as second in command to my cooking. We could even get some…. '_Girl talk'_…. In." The words slipped foreign, and waxy out of the lovely Kanaya's green-coiled lips as she caught them in air quotes.

Tavros quirked an unsure smile, half amused by Kanaya's modern lingo. Or lack there of.

He however, complied, still sort of void at the mind of the method behind her madness. Kan never cooked, afterall.

"C-can do, Kan! I uh, never really chalked you up to much of a cook though. Hehe, you sure you know what you're um, doing, maybe? I suppose we all do our share of the uh, guess work though sometimes." Tav pressed a skyward brow politely, a smirk balancing out the sass in his dialogue. Well it was a great deal of sass for Tav's usual talk around others. He really only liked being himself plainly around friends, anyways. Kanaya had always catalogued herself under the sleeve of a mother image. Playing the cook in the kitchen was a bit over the mark though.

Slipping on a delicious-looking apron, he started beating around the bushes with the actual cooking. On second though, he decided to just beat some cookie batter with a wooden dealie. He couldn't remember the name of it.

The green-gussied up troll edged close and whispered to the other.

"I believe you to have already figured out that no, I did not intentionally wish to simply bake. Rumor has it, Tavros…. That you're a lucky bastard in black."

Tav drove the wooden dealie in a bit hard this time and managed to promptly drop the plate with a loud clatter.

All eyes were on him, as if his stomach hadn't suddenly already felt like a thousand eyes.

Kanaya, however felt the need to share half his load of extreme pressure and 'laughed' it off, assuring everyone everything was okay and that no damage had been done to Terezi's fine china.

"I, Uh! N-no Kanaya! I mean, uh, as much as I'd love to say I am, y-you've got your facts backwards! It's definitely not uh, black!"

"Oh, well perhaps this rigorous game of telephone twisted the facts. Is it, perchance, Red?"

"I-, I! Kanaya!"

"Ah, I see. I'm apologizing in advanced for being meddlesome, but I do feel the need to advice you on such 'girl talk'."

Abruptly, his throat felt as if a barrage of spiders had decided to lay a nest in his throat. He tried swallowing, but something kept crawling back up, he wasn't sure what the proper response to that would be without offending her sure to be quality 'girl talk.' He just didn't suppose there was much _to_ talk about.

"Sign. I've uh, already been over this, sort of with Aradia. Are, are you really going to make me?"

"Hmm, well I won't pressure you into doing anything. It's against my moral code to take advantage of the weak, but I'd definitely like to put my oar into this here lake of a situation."

She smiled, a cynical, half-assuring smile. Tav tried to pry whatever confidence he could from that little notion, and with a shaky mind to match his breathing, he answered.

"It's… it's Gam…"

He decided he couldn't reveal a secret that wasn't fully his to tell.

"-Gambling around more of the , uh, red area…. If there's any red at all. I think um… that mostly, it's non-mutual though." Tav fished the plate back up from it's ground point, and licked the spoon in bitter lack of reciprocal feelings from the other party. He couldn't make it up in spare spoon batter. He wished he could though, eat his feelings, that is. Heh.

Kanaya nodded along, still paying cynical smirks in his direction, perhaps in lieu of the legitimate 'girl talks' she provided half-assedly. She could not even figure for herself what type of fuckery she was handing out to him. If anything though, she would try and meddle in a progressive manner.

"Well what's the harm in telling him?"

Tav's tongue lingered on the smooth carcass of the spoon… it was so nice and filed down, kept in place from self-harming splinters. Tav wondered how a spoon could do it better than him. He'd really only been hurting himself with invisible splinters he hadn't any stitches for since the day he said 'uH, of- of course!' to Gamzee staying.

"I … um, don't see any steps being taken forward with that. Um, f-figuratively of course, besides… Vriska." Tav eyed the step capable-less feet acting as dead weight on his torso, literally. He had also started to feel his pan become fine-fitted to his feet. Perhaps all of him, was just that. _Dead weight. _

"Tavros, despite the ages past, you haven't changed a bit. Formalities aside, I can't say I'm too glad to see the same old Tavros though. The same old diffident, retreated, abashed Tavros. I believe if you are ever to initiate in some sort of relationship, you should throw a tad of caution to the wind, and press on. Regardless of what status your quadrants are. I trust you to not have changed a grand spectrum actually, this being said, old you would first walk before considering cheating." She paused for a smile. "I trust you to do the right thing, is all I'm saying. Whether that includes telling him or not will be left to you."

The troll addressed sat, a bit dumbfounded by the choice of tactics the motherly figure chose. Then again, she'd always sort of been sweet for tough love. He cleared his throat, the ugly habit of finger-twirling displayed prominently under Kanaya's saccharine smile.

"K-kan, I appreciate the thought of uh…"

He realized she had used a very specific pronoun.

' _He? Does… does she know 'he' refers to Gamzee?. . .Does she know how red I think I might maybe be waxing for him? Does she know that despite every thing wrong with me, he's the only one who wouldn't try and change me?… Does she know that his love would probably be unconditional, unlike uh, Vriska's? Not that I am um, complaining. That would not be a thing to do, really.'_

"You… um. You mentioned a 'he', how did you know- "

Then there is a noise. A noise loud enough for the shining ribbons, religiously rolled around every corner of the hive, to shake off their ledges. A few branches of the outer tree-house itself came tumbling down. Along with something else. No, that something was a someone. And that someone was positively air-born at one point, before having a run in with the ground.

Kanaya, who had already recovered from the bewildered surprise, took the initiative in peeking out the window. A cluster of the other girls had also gathered around to take a peek out at whatever had toppled off the roof. Kanaya chalked it up to weather getting rowdy, but as she and Tav soon discovered, it would've only saved them a load of trouble.

Tavros also soon discovered that trouble, and all branching forms of it, would be inevitable. He debated this as he and some of the others curiously poked their heads out into the harsh weather. There wasn't much aside from the sheets of snow that hadn't been there previously, and the branches digging bomb shelters into it. There was a particularly big branch, that as Kan approached, realized, was not a branch.

Equius, of all people, came running soon after, searching feverishly through the freshly-glazed snow.

Kanaya figured if he hadn't been out with the others, he had a hand in this. Motherly scowl in place, she huffed over, leaving Tav to brush through the snow himself to the crater-sized gap in the floor.

And a little voice came groaning from the meteor-hole. Was it perhaps the second coming of some trollian superman? Or, inside Tav's mind, a small hope that Pupa pan had crash landed, instead of the nagging worry of what he was almost sure of.

"G-….Gamzee! What've you done?"

He scurried off his chair to crawl next to fidgeting body alongside a backdrop of Nepeta having a civil shout war with Equius over the matter. He tried paddling off the flecks of snow busily, seeing as how in his mind, mere contact with it could mean life or death. There wasn't much he could do now as he was, though. The most his anxious little pan could figure up was digging himself a bed in the snow besides the crippled clown and looking straight into his struggling eyes, worry written all over his own.

"G-gamzee! Talk to me, t-tell me you're okay! Please, wh-what…."

The clown moved a cumbersome muscle, which lashed out into a hand breaching the curvature of the bull's face, an out of place, happy jingle spawning from the forgotten horn-bells and weeds. His thumb rubbed liquid assurance over him though, knowing he could move at least this much.

"I… I tried flippin' dope tricks off the roof, brother. I guess you didn't get my not- " a fit of coughing took over. Perhaps the cold really could get through even his thick skin. Thick skin to fit his thick skull. Tav jointed his hand to the others, sharing non-existant warmth.

"Y-you do this to yourself, Gamzee! Look how low a literal hole you've dug yourself in!"

Tav only hoped with all the three wishes he never had from a fairy godmother, that he hadn't dug himself his own cemetery plot, because if he had…

'_I'd…I'd…have to plant my own grave right here as well.'_

"Haha, nah adora-bull bro." More vocal discomfort. "This hole is all a good place to be next to a brother right about." He smiled.

Maybe it was an opportune time for the bull to start believing In miracles however, for Gamzee seemed to be walking evidence. Not precisely though.

'_Well… l-live evidence is enough for me.'_

With new religion near secured, Tav realized that he wouldn't be walking for a long while now, no matter how many or little bones broken from this situation. Gamzee sure as hell wouldn't be walking away unscathed from this incident. Tav felt a little bit of solace shared in knowing neither one of them, in fact, could. He lay besides the other in the bitter freeze, a poor excuse for a warm blanket. The look of defeat and humility glinting dully from his eyes served as poor diagnosis. Mauve purple trickling under the grooves of his lips played the role of medicine poorly. If anything though, Tavros guessed the least he could do was poorly supply the role of nurse. As the rush and murmur of people began swallowing the moment, particularly a very spider-esque one, his lips swept dubiously near the other's purple-drenched ones. A very unorthodox cure on his mind, he debated, while screwing the whole concept of personal space.

'_P-please excuse the cheap medic, G-gamzee.'_

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes:<em>

And on the third week, (or what the fuck ever, as I'm sure the expiration date's been far overdue now for this chappie xD) the story revived. I just have to say, thanks for all the gogdamn support here, I appreci8. And I really do hope falling off a roof counts as both excitement and humor 'cos I've been craving both xD.

**_THANK YOU, REVIEWS ARE MiRaClEs. c0:_**


	14. Did I Break You?

**Chapter 14**

* * *

><p><strong><em>I'm just a step away<em>****_  
>I'm just a breath away<br>Losing my faith today  
>Falling off the edge today<em>**

* * *

><p>The commons room of the former-festivities was now choking under a brutal smog of doom. Naturally, the notion of doom would belong to Sollux and solely Sollux. Under the most in fashion of tragedies however, the whole crew present seemed to be sharing his gloom and doom spirit.<p>

Equius, now drenched in a vat pf towels like someone had spilled a good gallon of faygo all over him, had just explained how in the hell Gamzee's wreckage had come to happen. Or to be detail-specific to the words of the second most concerned: "HOW IN THE NOOKSUCKING LOVE OF DRIP-DRYING IN A VAT OF WRIGGLER JUICE JEEGUS DID THIS SHIT HIT THE WINDMILL?"

The cold, hard facts were even colder than the layers of snowy ruble Gamzee, and partially Tav, were currently recovering from. The docdroid called in had been and gone, leaving only the ghastly aftermaths of the event with a label. Gamzee had been diagnosed and thankfully, was only a classic case of bed-rest away from recovery. Tav on the ironic hand, had caught some sniffles from the unrelenting cold. While the grownups had their fun, their fist fights, and their big words in the kitchen, Tav sat alone with the other. He unwound the gear of his pan over and over like a forgotten cassette gone askew.

The sight of the ruined clown was sad. Then again, he'd done all a disabled, sniveling troll could. He'd smothered him in blankets 'till wrigglers could cry over that sort of warmth and protection. He'd even gone a step further and taken to desperate, childish measures. Some glimmer of hope led the troll to believe that laying next to the other, raking a sheet of touches over his forehead, down to his cheek would serve as some magic H.P potion. Heartache and caresses, however, weren't the ingredients to any make-shift cure. And bed-rest, bed-rest _was_ the answer. Motionless, near-comatose, and hurt in a bed.

And it was going to kill Tavros.

What had come to happen, evidently, was Gamzee's huge libido for flipping tricks off ridiculous places. Of course being disabled presented a few roadblocks. Literally or otherwise, for the troll. Thank gog Equius was there to push him off the roof.

Gamzee had taken underwing his highblood influence. He'd lightly 'suggested' to the blue blood that giving him a kick start from the starting ramp he'd built was a grand idea. Ofcourse the danger of the scheme went over his head, replaced by eager need to follow highblood order. Just like the pillow of snow flown right under him. The blow softening was a lie.

The best Zahaak could shoot for in reparations, was impersonating a headless chicken, running around looking for him. The slim, daft, sliver of hope that he could retrieve the highblood in one piece was axed in half near-literally by Vriska (full of concern for Tav) and Nepeta. There was a serious shout-session in for him from Karkat too, he'd even penned a long educational beat-down for Gamzee for when he awoke. The fiery vocabulary in stock for him would be his rising swan song.

Not if Tavros could help it though. It was his turn to shout, to yell and run.

'**This… this isn't right, isn't fair. Not two weeks ago he was as fit as a fiddle. More so than I could ever hope for… and now. There's not a hope I could come up with that could maybe, save him.'**

He couldn't scream though. He couldn't yell.

The first thing he actually did after the ruined clog hop was over, and Karkat had heaved his useless lump of a moirail home to lay on Tav's couch. Well the first thing he did, was lay with him, eyes combating the second coming of noah's ark. Tav kept mumbling comforting nothings to the boy after Kar had left, more in vain attempts to soothe himself more than anything.

**'He… he murmurs in his sleep too. I, really can't make any of these whispers out to be real things though.'**

And as the pair took up space on the ratty, hazmat couch fit for a lowblood, he realized it wasn't just his lips making the murmur, but his heart too.

'**Oh… oh my Gog, Gamzee. Did, Did I break you?'**

Out of frantic despair, he awkwardly shoved his head against the other's chest and willed his hands to scavenge his torso for signs of disrepair. His lean, warm torso. The gentle, fluent movement of his rise and fall. Tavros had never noticed. How _alive_ he felt around the pierott. And even in his barely alive state, Gamzee still managed to set aside life for Tav to drain him of.

Tav had never noticed, that his cardiac murmur, was just a thing he'd always had. He'd never noticed the wax and wane, the push and pull of his lungs. How his hair rustled so slightly along with it.

It all added up. Gamzee was still so… alive. But more importnatantly, as Tav was slapped dab in the face by lady epiphany, he realized. _Just like him._

The things he murmured (as if the light off epiphany's torch was infectious, catching fire from one ash to the next.) started making sense to Tav's ears.

The strings of speech, calloused by a night in the snow, started weaving together in some cohesive language.

And he whispered about him.

His name, more than anything, oddly.

Sweet, gibberish nonsense, and a name.

Atleast he'd come 'round soon.

Tavros checked his pulse to make sure his heart tremor wouldn't offend his sleep pattern. But no, Gamzee's thigh had even twitched at the touch. He stared at the place where it had. A browning, lost to the ages filmstrip, the times he'd tried and failed so hard to make something of himself. The little cinema in his brain dimmed the lights to debut the motion picture. However, he knew, sadly, that it wasn't any hot off the actor's guild material. Neither could he say he'd waste half a fuck, much less any type of oscar on the material.

The image of him and his heretical methods of trying to walk again scarred him something awe full. Something to the point of filing them away among their own types in little film canisters. The failed, was a label they all shared. The ridiculous. The plausible. The reasonable and logic. The just plain idiotic. The drastic and desperate.

All just words to him. And to Gamzee… simple twitches he could even manage while comatose. It was just beneath his skin, yet, he could do jack shit about it. It was daft to think, (and please don't think) that he had never tried his own… _unorthodox_ tactics of getting at the useless bone and marrow beneath his skin.

He didn't like digging up old skeletons from the closet though, or his own skeleton from his skin, he reasoned, eyeing the spot where he knew old scars lie.

That was the commanding factor in which Gamzee was infact, not like Tavros. He could, and God allow, _would _at some point or another brush himself off and walk off from this whole ordeal. Literally.

There was something so… vexing about that cold, uncaring fact. Something so cold even the bitter freeze outdoors would pale in comparison to. He could never walk. Whereas, here was this cocky prince politely laying roses at the non-existant bed of the legless pauper, robbing him of the little confidence and solace he kept locked away on emergency power. The steady stream he was lucky to have a drop off. The faucet of will he licked from, now just a chocked trickle, as this boulder was dropped onto the already sad brook of permanence.

But no. He knew Gamzee wasn't like that. Or rather, he trusted him enough to know that there was no underlying level of villainy in his pleas to be housed here. He really was busting his ass out, saving the last drips of optimism he had left on Gamzee. Because perhaps… just, just maybe… Gamzee could be honest. He could be real with Tavros. Something touchable, something there and alive. As he pilfered scraps of life from the barely-there troll, he really wished with all the three wishes he never had from a fairy gogmother… that they could be something real.

While in the back of his mind, there was a silent film-strip of Vriska. Her distant, soulless, comforting to wither in comparison with the docile, all-too-touchable, and all-too-there still frame of the man who could… well, in Tavro's all-too-naïve mind, cure him of the lack of reality Vriska had always been held in.

There was then, without anyone's realization, a petit trail of mechanical, blue spiders marching out of the bull-horned troll's pocket and stationing themselves silently all over the premises.

* * *

><p>"Alas, poor Tavvy. I knew him, Equi." She giggled in anticipation, eyes glazed over from staring at her little screen.<p>

The other troll in the room radiated something akin to nervous guilt. None the wiser however, as he could even be found sweating bullets on a freezing winter night such as this one. He cleared his throat.

"Aaah, Serket, I am not one hundred percent convinced that my, er, handiwork should be coordinated as such. Spying on low bloods, I mean, is not a very esteemed past time, Don't y- "

"Oh can it, I payed you off for the little buggers fair and fucking square. So off you fuck, go on, back to your little jungle-gym-macho-man set. You really have been quite the dear doing as much already, so please don't bother yourself."

He complied, not fully convinced, but atleast enough to leave the woman to her… studies. If the term wouldn't be offended enough to be placed there.

Eyes glued to the screen of the little insect's cameras, she witnessed the way her matesprit's eyes softened under the other's close-lidded gaze. The non-existant way the clown returned yearning eyes.

And in that stare, she saw weakness. Something tangible, something all-too-there that she could finally, take advantage of for real.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I don't want to sleep.<em>**

**_I don't want to dream._**

**'_cause my dreams don't comfort me._**

**_The way you make me feel._**

**_Waking up to you never felt so real._**

* * *

><p>Author's Notes:<p>

SO GUYS, I'M AWAKE AND FUCKING ALIVE! And yes, that /is/ a reference to the album, by Skillet, of which I cleverly embedded just so I could smoothly transition into saying that yes, the words at the intro and outro of this chappie are infact, lyrics! So don't you dare sue! Or I'll punch babies, because here it is. **THEY DON'T BELONG TO ME. c: **The first set is 'Hero' - Skillet. The other being my favorite of the CD, 'Comatose' - Skillet. Please give it an ear if you aren't already head over heels for this sexay ear-candy band c: Also. I've been sick x_x so very heart-wrenchingly sick. Like my braind and emotions took a trip to cedar point, so many rollercoaster rides. They're back now though, and have been dutifully scolded for taking such a rowdy bachelor's trip. So, I'm gonna hit the hay now, seeing as how it's very early. 3 am. and I'm seeing things move on the wall in which I've written 'HONK' all over with chalk.

THANK YOU, REVIEWS ARE MiRaclEs!~


	15. Screw Comas

**Chapter 15**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Be Careful Of The Curse That<strong>_

_**Falls On Young Lovers**_

_**It Starts So Soft And Sweet**_

_**And Turns Them To Hunters"**_

* * *

><p>Not two weeks ago did Gamzee have the little Torero at his chest, excavating the flesh thereof for a pulse, a beat, a drumming rhythm, any bodily function to testify life.<p>

-Oh my Gog, Gamzee, Did, Did I break you?**-**

No.

He had wanted to yell: No, no, and most importantly, no over again until it sank into his psyche. The bull couldn't be further from correct. In fact, Gamzee believed he had done quite the contraire. Gamzee couldn't publicize his mantra though, not physically.

The most he could've done, not two weeks ago under a pair of concerned horns, a tepid body, and two injuries + a heart murmur's worth of pressure, was mutter.

So he did. There were half-composed sonnets, quarter-remembered quotes; most importantly, there was Tavros.

**-**" Tav…Tavros." "Shooshoosh, It's pretty much okay Gamzee, I'm here. I'm always here."**-**

As for most of the down and dirty specifics of what else had happened, not two weeks ago; they were lost to comatose and poorly.

He sat there though, in the little living compartments Tavros had offered him. Well, offered to a _comatose _Gamzee. Now that he had been abusing that title for a while (but not since two weeks ago), he wondered if his evict note would soon buzz after him. A moth slipping through window cracks. It was all he was at a moment's notice. Or, more accurately, the moment Tav noticed Gamzee was indeed, no longer out cold. Infact, the movement from below zero degrees (lying out in the snow, crippled, and even more so) to near volcanic under a toasty set of covers and completely conscious, was a far cry from 'Out cold.' A moth, flitting to and fro, lying away and low from anyone aware of it's presence at the window pane.

Karkat's window, being one of them. Gamzee often found himself shoving his wings and sandpapery self, a moth, straight to the other's hive. Well, provided the moirail could stroll on over on absence of Tav. That was the blinking bug-zapper on Gamzee's very un-comatose trips. His antlered best friend had to be on leave. Truth was (in all it's ugly, naked-ness) Gamzee hadn't been broken for a while now. He didn't want word of his consciousness to tear into the other's blood bladder though, lest Tav feel obliged or tethered to some policy involving this new clause.

Now, Gamzee could walk out of this chapter of his life painted in a coward's robe, or a mooch's throne, anything, hell he didn't even have to straight up _walk_ out.

Permanent corruption was an attractive option in Gamzee's mind when rivaled against the possibility of _breaking_ Tav.

'I'd rather stay all to this motherfucking piece of steel than have any harsh up in your mellow, Tav.' Putting any strain on him was more hurt than any crippling limb could provide. Gog forbid he did end up hurting him, because the last thing he wanted to come out as to his bull-bro, was a bull-y.

* * *

><p>This is why, for a while, (Not two weeks) he'd been traipsing about the hive (more accurately limping) and fixing up any chore or dinner he could. Open windows would be closed &amp; accessorized with fresh curtains upon Tav's return, even if they were a tad bit <em>obvious<em> to the spoor streaks, heh. Beds would've been made and letters rearranged on the refridgerator. All the small things that made Tav believe, bit by bit, in miracles.

Soon enough though, the crippled clown started feeling a rhythm breaking; perhaps something else as well.

"HeY, KaRnIvOrE! What Is AlL tHe fuCk uP?"

"ASIDE FROM YOUR RANCOROUS, HALF-FORMED PAN? NOTHING. EVERYTHING ELSE DWELLS IN THE LOWS OF HELL IN COMPARISON."

Gamzee mulled this over, idly mouthing over a pen in his mouth, trying to harvest words, or atleast contact the little word smith in his brain. It seemed he had been out ever since the last time he'd talked to Tav.

-"Oh plEaSe BrOiRaIl, DoN'T ThInK I'Ve AlL haD mY WiCkEd-dEsErViNg FiLl Of ThOsE MiRaClE PiEs mUcH aLl oF late. My PaN AiN't ThAt HigH, HONK."

-" WAIT…. THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WHAT?"

-" ThE pies ArE nOt AlL even aNy SoRt Of ThIng iN mY DiSpOsAl RiGhT nOw.

:0("

-"THERE IS A DUMP TRUCK LOADED TO THE FUCKING BRIM WITH SHIT, COMPLETE WITH IT'S OWN STANDARD "HEAVY FUCKING LOAD, WATCH THE FUCK OUT." SIGN ON THE BACK. AND THE CHANCE OF YOU BEING SOBER JUST LET ALL THAT CHARMING AS LAW SHIT TAKE A SCENIC TUMBLE THROUGH THIS HERE PROMINENET SCREEN OVER MY HEAD. IT'S RAINING SHIT, GAMZEE. YOU CAN'T EVEN LET IT RAIN SOMETHING OF A TAD MORE RIDICULOUS STATURE, CAN YOU? LIKE SAY, BOONBUCKS, OR FAYGO? NO. YOU CAN'T MAKE IT RAIN FAYGO. IT RAINS SHIT BECAUSE, MAKARA, THAT'S ALL THAT EXISTS IN THE SKY WHEN YOUR HEAD SOBERS UP AND PULLS AWAY FROM THAT LEVEL OF HIGH YOUR ALWAYS AT**.**

** I'M COMING TO GET YOU RIGHT THE HELL NOW."**

Gamzee mulled this over some, trying to chop and process the rant bit by bit. Not that he wasn't used to by then, though haha.

-" WeLl tAV AiN't even mOtHeRfUcKiNG HoMe, SO I'm AlL AbOuT ThE SneAkINg OuT bIt, BuT, brO-"

The message was left unsent since the other moirail had rudely logged off.

Then again, if Vantas wasn't rude and brisk, he wasn't Vantas at all.

The clown singled himself away from the laptop and the sheets. Getting un-glued from the smothering caccoon shape the bull had built for him that morning was a bit of a smothering feat in itself. Soon, though, he was out and strolling by on the metal hobbling sticks he had (not for a total of two weeks) stashed in the crevice under his bed. It was a much better alternative, he supposed, to the clunky 4-wheeled device he had been previously introduced to. All the better as well, he supposed, since he was well enough to maneuver on these now.

In paraphrase, the clown found some physical relief in these sturdy hobbling holsters as opposed to the chair, or perhaps walking on his hands as any proper clown should know how; Heaven knows it was his gog-given right to need physical relief, and by gog was he abusing it. He'd been chasing poltergeists around his head, little haunts of thoughts and ghouls of emotion. The bare trace of them sometimes, and a full body apparition at times.

All of Tav.

The ghost of Tav, and him. Retrospection of memoirs (and what he liked to think were memories) and other hind sights he longed to be haunted by. After all, with all the feverish frivolity and excitement going on tucked asleep in a bed, he had lots of time to think.

Too much, almost.

He wished he could touch Tav. He wanted to dig his nails into the other's flesh, caress him gradually and tear his way in until he heard his howl gnarl against his own.

It was a very adulterous task sometimes, _thinking_. A very dangerous past time at that, too.

He thought of the ways he not only wanted to run his teeth across a bare veal of chest to instigate a butterfly-beating pulse, but of the words he could gently drown him in to soothe the burn. The anvils of sugar he could wrap around him to ease him down, down into what was called, 'getting in too deep.' Gamzee figured, ( and oh did he have time to figure.) that the only thing he'd be getting 'in too deep' of would be his uncensored love. Completely free of bounds.

Of course, most of this shit was Lucid dreaming pulled out of his nook; induced by more than just Sopor for cheap drugs. Of course he'd be kept on gallons of meds because after all, he _was_ 'comatose.'

With the exception that the defenition of 'comatose' had now been stretched two healthy-ish legs and a visit to his moirail's long, he paraded his new hobbling sticks sloppily on his way out to meet his moirail, who intended to ride him back to the crab hive for a visit.

* * *

><p>"You're mental, tavvy-boo. What's the matter? I could've sworn troll Robin Williams had given those lost marbles back to that geezer of a a grandpa. Maybe yours are just running from you, too ashamed hehe."<p>

"N-no! Listen, it really isn't any matter of uh, losing marbles or any real toy-box knick-knack. I mean, unless you count Gamzee as a marble? Haha." He chuckled at the absurd lack of resemblance, but only slightly.

There was little room Tavros could make for laughter during the pressing of such a serious case.

"Pfft, the kid hardly counts as troll, maybe a fangled little jumping jack, yes. One of those outcast toys you lose at the bottom of the box. Assuming he _is_ lost then?"

"Y-yes! Lost is most definitely a thing that Is Gamzee right now, and frankly, I'm fearing quite a bit for him. I, uh, mean I-it's not that I already don't fear for him, I usually do, but uh, since he's not even any where near where I can, um, take care of him…"

"Oh, I see. Tav's finally got an iron, mmm, maybe half an iron, in the fire? It's quite a depressing victory, Tavvy-woes, isn't it? Having to lose your favorite toy for some excitement around here? Hmm."

The girl cackled from the other side of the line, she knew that feel, the words that slipped off her tongue covered in vile and ill were spoken true, none the less. There was more than just a cellular signal between the two though. There seemed to be now, for the longest time, a wall of ice. Something dry and pure in it's silent distilment.

"N-no! Vriska, this, this is no such thing of play! I am, um, to say, not playing! If any time was appropriate to be serious, it's very much now, Vriska!" There was a less than kind silence on the runway of the pair's air signal. Something ugly. "Well, if you're really going to flip-fry that many shits over that, sure, go ahead and haul on ass over to my place. I'll see what of my eight arms I can lend, Heheh! " With no room for delay or rebuttal, the line died. The wall of ice did not but shed a tear of melted water though.

'How could she be so very uncaring? So very… cold. Very cold and brisk, as, as if nothing could budge her. Briska more like. N-no, I'm sure she's just perhaps been through this before, I hope? Weathered into calm from years and years of flarping and, what not…. Still.'

So, at the interval between the drop of a hat, and the time it hit the ground, he had witnessed a missing friend,

-'Oh, Gamzee, where are you?'-

A mind full of doubt,

-'I'm sure Vriska just knows very well how to cool the, uh, tits… right?'-

and as he rollered himself once again out the corner of his porch, he realized, yet another instance of weakness for him.

Something bare bones and calcium for Vriska to curl her gnarled claws around.

'She wouldn't uh, do a thing llike that though. Heh.'

Tavros often tried at the very least (since he could never, he found, untie them) to hide these nooses from her. However, with her job and all being his Matesprit, Vriska had a very reliable boost that was almost idiotically given as a default. Tavros liked to make believe, yes, any troll with a pair of horns on his head could see that; any with just a half even. Still, just as much as anytroll could comprehend that ridiculous notion, they could comprehend the next of his whimsies. Tav gave himself the benefit of the doubt that his matespirt was far and beyond taking control of any part of him, in a weak state or otherwise. Perhaps merely because of the weak fact that she was, technically, romantically his.

So romantically, he fancied himself a visit to said matesprit's hive, if only to alleviate some of the more dire fantasies setting fire to his pan. The ones involving a certain missing, bushel-haired clown with eyes of lusting opal. Not even the nice ones could rival with the ones taking capital in there at the moment. At the moment, domineered crazed ideas of a crawling, half-beaten Gamzee struggling for attention from his captors.

-'Wh-what if he was, brutally K-kidnapped in cold, high blood?'-

Here was the moment where Tavros saw a fault in his possession of aforementioned imagination. The thoughts running a thousand miles, setting a trail of snarling flames behind, Tav caracoled his way over to Vriska's hive.

* * *

><p>:AUTHOR'S NOTES, GAWD!:<p>

Okay, I' M ALIVE! And writing this at a mile a minute, the fucking hotwheelers got nothing on me. 'COS my lapsack has been crapping out on me always at this point in correcting the chapter. (a total of 4 times tried now :D HEHE.) So, here this chappie is getting pretty crucial and we're going in deep. in deep shit that is :1 Mmm my favorite. The quotations up front belong to Florence + The machine and their 'Howl' , grand song, must be made dope or something, for it's addictive feature. Maybe just glue. Aaaanyways~ Looks like I'll finish writing this time c: THANK YOU, REVIEWS ARE MiraClEs~


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